I’ve played piano for 40+ years and one thing that’s always
pissed me up the wall is the size of my hands.
They’re incredibly small and very unlike Sergei Rachmaninoff, Dave Brubeck, Ray Garland,
McCoy Tyner, Bill Evans, George Gershwin and Charles Ives. (and I love them all)
These guys have gorilla sized hands.

Palm a basketball?
No problem.
Palm a watermelon?
Easy.
Hand me that piano?
No worries.
Play a chord with more notes than the fingers on two hands?
Got more ivory?

To try and play a Garland or Gershwin tune you need about 800mgs of ibuprofen an hour
before playing so you don’t cramp up too much.
I’m serious.
Chopin?
Small and fast hands, the little bastard.
He was a magician and quite the sex fiend from what I hear.
Russian hands and Roman fingers.

I saw this video a while back and forgot all about it.
Tonight I am tickled pink to post it.
Interesting though that to play the Charles Ives ‘Concord Sonata’ you need several pieces of wood
cut to specific sizes and weights in order to play the piece.
I guess his hands weren’t big enough.
Enjoy this amazing and funny video.
I love it from a musical standpoint as well as a comedic statement.
This is Rachmaninoff’s Prelude in C-sharp minor with much added levity.

“Small hands. But only hands small.”
I like this guy.
Alot.

Welcome back to Malarky Monday!
It’s a new week and a fresh post of hi-jinx and mayhem.
My female cat, Opus, has gone MIA so with that in mind I found a few pictures
that may offer some clue as to where she may be.
Yeah, she’s gone undercover for the cat Mafia.
I can just feel it.
After your visit here, please head on over to my partners in crime:

*Moe*
*Morky*
*Dilligaf*

Here’s one way for a cat to infiltrate the high security
bunny compound at Easter time . . .

Is there such a thing as an Easter Lemur?
I didn’t think so.
I got a chuckle out of the picture though.
Little guy needs some eye shadow . . .

Last but certainly not least, Opus may be in the middle of a vicious turf war.
Nah . . .

Happy Malarky Monday folks!

Malarky Monday =
the one day of the week me and my blogging freaks/friends try and make you
laugh, spit, giggle and hopefully pass a bit of coffee out your nose.
Actually, all we really want is a smile.
You are not done until you visit my fellows in hijinx.
Links will follow!
This week I have some favorite clips.
They’re not long but damn they’re funny.
If you have some YouTube stuff or some zany webpage that you think I haven’t seen, email me
and I will put your name in lights.
(*translation, you will get some linky-love, or a mention if you don’t have a blog)

First up, a product infomercial gone horribly wrong.
Epic FAIL!

I hate used car salesmen so I really enjoyed this clip.
Almost too much.

Last up, a short vid from ‘The Kids in the Hall’, a comedy show years ahead of its time.
Sadly defunct now.
This video deals with the abuse of a particular word in the workplace.
A classic, tbs (to be sure)
I ascertained the fact that you should watch this . . .

Now, go and visit my fellow hucksters!
And get more coffee!
They won’t disappoint.
I promise.
HaPpY MaLaRkY MoNdAy!

Moe
Mark
Dilligaf

I have followed Richard Page for almost his entire career.
From ‘Pages’ and ‘Mr. Mister’ to all the background vocals he’s done over the years.
Who is Richard Page?
You have heard him before.
Trust me.
Click here.
Click here.
Click here.
An amazing musician that never got the recognition I think he truly deserved.
Such is the fickle nature of the music business.
Please enjoy his holiday offering.
The deeper message of this song far surpasses all the 70% off Xmas sales at ‘Walmart’ and ‘Macy’s’
This is yuletide warmth, cubed.
And yeah, I always cry at Christmas . . .

Something for everyone with this video.
Watch it even if you hate horror flicks.
You will be rewarded at the end.
And somebody, please kill that damn crow . . .

This is your brain on something.
Amazing stuff here.
Science + rhythm + weirdness = this video.
Wow

Most of you know that I received a didjeridoo of the highest order
from Australia when I was at the Cape.
(thank you Maureen and Mark)
(especially Mark, for the packaging . . .  thanks, mate)
I have, in all honesty, devoted myself to playing it.
Although I’ve yet to master the art of circular breathing, I can play the didj now.
When I first blew into the beeswax mouthpiece the first thing I thought was, “Wow, this thing tastes funny.”
It was the beeswax.
No worries.
No more chapped lips either.
The first sound I got was something similar to what would come out of my ass after 13 bowls of kidney beans.
Yup. It was shit.
Sounded like a blunder under water.
Since I’ve been reading and practicing, I can get the fundamental drone (sweet spot) and actually make this sucker growl.
I do promise to put up a YouTube video when I feel proficient enough to
not look like a total American asshole trying to play an authentic instrument from another country.
I’ve so much of Australia in my blood right now (Vegemite, too)
that it’s only a matter of time.
Stay tuned folks.
This is going to get interesting.
Promise.
The short video below is an aboriginal playing the didj.
Pretty amazing in my opinion.
The dude can blow.
Don’t look for me wearing the makeup though . . .
As far as the hair? I might get a wig just to be funny.
Stay tuned.
Check it out, y’all

Say hello to ‘Sebastian’s Voodoo’ . . .

Get out the headphones.
Just an old tune I still love.
The singer is Bobby Kimball who is no longer with the band.
He sings his proverbial ‘nuts’ off.
Great song, really gay ass video though.
Have a bitchin’ weekend folks.
It’s going to be 80 degrees and sunny in Boston tomorrow.
Look for me on my back deck tomorrow night smoking a Cuban Montecristo #2  . . .

This is the latest web/ YouTube sensation called Miranda.
Is she a Dancing Queen?
A singing sensation?
Maybe not on this planet.
Either way, she rocks my world.
Kinda.
I gotta talk to her about how she applies her lipstick though.
Maybe she needs to be in one of those Little Caesar pizza commercials . . .