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	<title>smoke and mirrors &#187; memory</title>
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	<description>in a perfect world . . .</description>
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		<title>Walking Distance</title>
		<link>http://badsneaker.net/2008/04/walking-distance/</link>
		<comments>http://badsneaker.net/2008/04/walking-distance/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 08 Apr 2008 01:05:30 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>~m</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[alzheimer's disease]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Beer]]></category>
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		<category><![CDATA[chances]]></category>
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		<category><![CDATA[grilling maniac]]></category>
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		<category><![CDATA[memory]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[sentimental]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Twilight Zone]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://badsneaker.wordpress.com/?p=1487</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[When I was 9 years old I had a favorite paperback book called &#8220;Stories from the Twilight Zone&#8221;, a book of short stories based on the skin and bones for sketches produced on the TV program of the same name. I had a favorite called &#8220;Walking Distance&#8221;, the story of a tired middle aged business [...]]]></description>
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<p>When I was 9 years old I had a favorite paperback book called &#8220;Stories from the Twilight Zone&#8221;, a book of short stories based on the skin and bones for sketches produced on the TV program of the same name.<br />
I had a favorite called &#8220;Walking Distance&#8221;, the story of a tired middle aged business man that leaves the big city one weekend and simply drives in an effort to get away from his job and the Rat Race in general.<br />
His car breaks down and he gets towed to a local garage for repairs when he sees a road sign for the town he grew up in years ago.<br />
He asks how far it is to the town and is told, &#8220;It&#8217;s walking distance.&#8221;<br />
He enters the Twilight Zone and walks into his hometown of 40 years ago where his mother and father are still alive.</p>
<p>It&#8217;s funny that I was falling for these kinds of tender stories when I was ten.<br />
Yeah, I was a weird kid, huh?<br />
Much of my writing loosely falls into the same sentimental category. Go figure.<br />
I started thinking about the last good day I had with my mother and father, sadly the memory has vanished deep into the recesses of my own scattered mind.<br />
The ‘moment&#8217; did happen though when I came to a realization that I could never get those moments back; accepting the idea was painfully difficult but I knew it had to be done.<br />
It occurred to me that I began saying goodbye to the individual pieces of both of them, various facets of their personalities, phrases they often used and the stories they loved to tell.</p>
<p>I remember fruitlessly trying to pull my mother back into my world with my <em>&#8220;remember when&#8221;</em> queries that all too quickly lost their magical powers.<br />
If I&#8217;ve learned anything at all from their tragic situation it&#8217;s that life is about seizing moments, grabbing them by whatever means possible and never ever letting them go.<br />
I only wish I&#8217;d realized that fifteen years ago, wish I&#8217;d accepted their fates sooner, if that makes sense.<br />
But I&#8217;m only human and I desperately wanted to believe otherwise.<br />
If I could have several more hours with both of them it would be spent on the back deck of the <em><a title="a favorite story" href="http://badsneaker.wordpress.com/2005/03/13/a-story/" target="_self">‘<strong>Goodbye House&#8217;</strong></a></em>.<br />
It would be a warm but comfortable summer night with nothing but a cricket soundtrack and a deep, orange creamsicle sunset off to the West.<br />
My father would be standing by the grill wearing his signature wrinkled Bermuda shorts <em>(or were they seersucker? God forbid)</em>, sans shirt with his pot belly exposed to the world with a can of Busch beer in his hand as he flipped burgers and hot dogs.<br />
My mother would be flitting around the kitchen like some culinary Tasmanian devil putting the finishing touches on one of her ‘signature&#8217; desserts.<br />
We wouldn&#8217;t be talking about anything in particular; it would just be like it once was.<br />
But it would be different to me because I would mentally file away and lock every smile, every laugh, and every taste and smell living inside that one bittersweet summer evening.<br />
And I would remember all of it again, if I had one more chance.<br />
Maybe the truth of the matter is that those memories are never very far away; in fact they&#8217;re easily accessible because wherever I am, <em><strong>‘home&#8217;</strong></em> is always close by.<br />
Actually, it&#8217;s walking distance . . .</p>
<p>~m</p>
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