I continue to remember the day you were born.
5.23.1929
As always, in my mind we are playing catch in the backyard with grass that was green as emeralds.
A juicy hot dog with lots of mustard from Rip’s would follow.
Maybe even a ride on the go-carts, if I was lucky.
With you, I was always lucky.
Miss you, Dad.

~m

I saw Orion this morning (6:15) while retrieving the morning paper.
The constellation told me/reminded me of several things;  Autumn has arrived here in New England,
and there is one more constellation I need to see before I die [Southern Cross],
and that another year has passed and my wife is one year older.
Happy Birthday, to my always.
From your forever.
And the stars continue to sparkle.
Just like your eyes . . . [green Orion]
Love you.
See you for Indian tomorrow night . . .

~m

It was 20 years ago tonight that my wife elbowed me at 1:30 in the morning saying,
“My water just broke. Get some sleep.”
Get some sleep?
Yeah, right.
I called Pamela’s mom and told her to come over immediately (to watch a sleeping 3 year-old Sarah)
and it wasn’t soon after that we were changed and in my silver Datsun 210 on the way to the hospital.
It was cold as hell and my brakes were grinding to the metal.
Pamela thought we would never make it to Hannemann Hospital.
We did.
At 8:11AM (2.7.90) Pamela gave birth to our second daughter, Jenna.
Tomorrow afternoon we will have a house full of family and Jenna’s college friends
and more Chinese food than you can shake a stick at.
We will also be watching some Supernatural episodes (Jenna’s favorites, methinks)
We will basically have our own ‘Supernatural Bowl’.
Could be much better than the actual Super Bowl itself.  (no Dean)
Happy birthday, Jen.
Mom and I love you and your sisters more than you will ever know.
Have a ‘supernatural’ day, okay?
Here’s a Supernatural gag reel that you may not have seen.
See you tomorrow afternoon, kiddo.

Our Mom would have been 81 today.
It was on my mind from the minute I got up today.
For her wake, I made a CD with a slew of tunes that I thought she would like.
This was one of them.
Unfortunately, the audio quality on this is real sub par for Take Six.
Get out the headphones.
It helps.
Whoever was mixing them that night needed to boost the ‘soprano’ vocal.  Helllllooooo?
That said, my mother would have loved these guys.
Happy Birthday, Mom.
Maureen and I miss you every single day.
Dad will be there when he’s ready or until you at least yell, “Wally! Get here! I’m lonely!”
Hope they have YouTube up there in heaven.
Miss you and love you every single day.
Dad does, too . . .

There is a quiet place
Far from the rapid pace
Where God can soothe my troubled mind

Sheltered by tree and flower
There in my quiet hour
With Him my cares are left behind

Whether a garden small
Or on a mountain tall

New strength and courage there I find
Then from this quiet place
I go prepared to face
A new day with love for all mankind

Happy Birthday to our niece, Cait.
Though she’s too far away, she’s always in our hearts.
I’m thinking this video will at least get a smile out of her.
Happy Birthday, kiddo.
Watch your mailbox!
Uncle Michael (& Aunt Pamela)

The above is what Google images gave me with ‘sexy cupcakes’ as a search word.
Jeez . . . I was thinking of something completely different.
With nipples.
Alright, there are two near and dear friends celebrating birthdays over the next few days and
I had to make mention of it here
(and move that hideous picture from my prior post further down the blog so as to prevent nightmares)

My dear friend Deg turns 50 tomorrow (2.18) and I must say he doesn’t look a day over 49.
(insert laugh track here)
Michael, I wish only good things for you on this momentous occasion and pray you will
see at least 50 more birthdays.
Lord knows you deserve even more than that.
You are and will always be one of the closest friends I have.
I am truly blessed.
Peace my brother and all of His blessings in the next year.

Secondly, and definitely not least, my new friend Mark (from Australia) who turns 39
(isn’t that right, Mark?)  
on Thursday (2.19)
I talk with Mark almost every Saturday night when his wife (Moe) lets me.  
Even she doesn’t want to give him up.
He makes me laugh to the point where I forget all the trivial shit happening in my life and for that I am truly grateful. Imagine talking to a bloke that’s alot funnier than Crocodile Dundee.
That’s Mark.
I shit you not.
I wish sunny skies for you buddy and an effortless trip over here to the states.
If you knew how much I’m looking forward to this July, you’d be a bit scared, buddy.
Please visit Moe and leave Mark a birthday comment.
He will undoubtedly reply.

The interesting thing about this post is that these two chaps will meet this July on Cape Cod.
It will probably be at Baxter’s in Hyannis where we’ll watch the sunset, drink some ice cold beer and eat some incredible lobster. (and drink some more beer, maybe smoke a nice Cuban cigar)
Sounds like heaven, right?
It will be just that.
Happy Birthday, Michael and Mark!
Have an awesome birthday, boys . . .

I’ve been thinking lately about how disconnected I feel regarding my father.
He’s been in limbo for so long now that I almost forget how to love the man.
I write this knowing full well I run the risk of sounding cold and emotionally apathetic, which I am definitely not.
But how do you find a way to love someone that for all intents and purposes is no longer there?
I care for him, God, I do and will forever remain his most vocal of advocates to ensure he’s treated with the utmost respect and compassion.
I owe him that and so much more.
Three years ago, I would have had a very hard time letting him go.
Today, I’m not so sure.
I want this thing to be over with for him, maybe for my sister and me too.
I want him to ‘get there’.
I want him to feel peace, not chaos; sunlight, not rain; happiness not despair; warmth and not apathy.
Anymore.
It makes me sad to write these words but I mean them in the best and most tender way possible.
These thoughts are always hanging off the edge of some deep and internal precipice of mine, wanting to fall off into some godforsaken abyss and be gone.
But somehow, they remain.
Until now, perhaps.
Maybe I’m writing these words in the hopes that they remove the chains that keep me from getting as close to him as I feel I need to be, loving him deep within my heart and not just on the pages of Smoke and Mirrors.
I waited on an older gentleman the other day that reminded me of my father some ten years ago.
He wanted to buy some cigars for his son who was celebrating his 30th birthday.
I wanted to tell him how lucky he was, how fortunate his son was that his father was still in good health, how life can change in the blink of an eye.
Giving advice on life to a man that could have been my father just didn’t make any logical sense to me.
It’s almost tragic how many things there are in my life that I no longer take for granted these days.
Like someone I love remembering my birthday.
Yeah, in a perfect world . . .
This isn’t a ‘poor me’ scenario because I honestly don’t feel that way at all.
I just wanted to let someone know just how precious certain moments really are.
I didn’t do that.
And the days go by . . . .

I guess the time had to come.
Yeah, 50.
Me and my sister.
Do I feel old?
Does she feel old?
Not really.
It’s all relative and life goes on.
But It’s kinda weird actually, in a landmark kind of way.
When I turn 50 on Saturday I won’t feel much different than when I was 49.
Bizarre.
A visit to Carl’s Diner would be a nice start to my 50th but we’ll see.
Happy Birthday to me and my twin, Moe
This post is a bit premature because I’m gigging on my b-day.
Hey, a wedding in mid-January is a gift for a struggling musician
Over and out, folks.
Off to find my cane . . .
(and yeah, that’s me and Moe on the cake)

Happy Belated Birthday, Sas
love you,
Dad

Happy Birthday to my one and only . . .
from ~m, the girls, Sherlock, Opus & of course Guinness
We love you!