I’ve de-activated my Facebook account because I go there when
I really should be doing other things.
I’m a great one for talking about all my writing goals and how I’m achieving them
but truth be told, I get sidetracked by things that are too easy to do.
Like Facebook.
Like Twitter.
Like Youtube. (that’s a tough one)
No more posting funny pictures.
No more posting really cool links.
No more fucking around with stuff that will ultimately get me nowhere.
Real fast.
I’ve finally come to the realization that if I want to write a damn book, I need to write.
Period.
No distractions.
No games.
No Facebook.
No Twitter.
And NO YOUTUBE.
Kind of like a self-imposed ‘Lent’ for writers.
And if I truly want to call myself one then that’s what I need to do.
That’s my story and I am sticking to it.
Until next time.
Check my archives.
There’s much reading to be done.
Thanks all.
~m

ps. if you really need to get in touch with me?
Go to the page that says, ‘Email Me’.
I check email daily X 12 . . .

I’ve played piano for 40+ years and one thing that’s always
pissed me up the wall is the size of my hands.
They’re incredibly small and very unlike Sergei Rachmaninoff, Dave Brubeck, Ray Garland,
McCoy Tyner, Bill Evans, George Gershwin and Charles Ives. (and I love them all)
These guys have gorilla sized hands.

Palm a basketball?
No problem.
Palm a watermelon?
Easy.
Hand me that piano?
No worries.
Play a chord with more notes than the fingers on two hands?
Got more ivory?

To try and play a Garland or Gershwin tune you need about 800mgs of ibuprofen an hour
before playing so you don’t cramp up too much.
I’m serious.
Chopin?
Small and fast hands, the little bastard.
He was a magician and quite the sex fiend from what I hear.
Russian hands and Roman fingers.

I saw this video a while back and forgot all about it.
Tonight I am tickled pink to post it.
Interesting though that to play the Charles Ives ‘Concord Sonata’ you need several pieces of wood
cut to specific sizes and weights in order to play the piece.
I guess his hands weren’t big enough.
Enjoy this amazing and funny video.
I love it from a musical standpoint as well as a comedic statement.
This is Rachmaninoff’s Prelude in C-sharp minor with much added levity.

“Small hands. But only hands small.”
I like this guy.
Alot.

What would Christopher Walken do?
I have a real hard time believing that Walken has a hard time doing anything.
Maybe transcribing chords for a Steely Dan song or playing a digeridoo but jeepers,
the guy acts, sings, and does comedy.
Not everyone likes him but I am a definite fan.
If you haven’t seen these videos (and are a Walken fan) you are in for a serious treat.
The guy amazes me from the standpoint of an artist.
If they ever come up with a ‘WWCWD’ bracelet, let me know.
I want one.

He dances too . . .

Good stuff.

M

A monkey can tell a great joke.
This one is a classic . . .

M

*and yeah, new theme, go figger

Funny?
You have no idea.
This clip is a bit longer than I like but damn, it’s worth watching.
The boys from the UK have done it once again.
Now there’s a surprise, huh?
Get some popcorn, cheese and crackers and a beer.
Maybe a Dublin ‘side car’ for good measure.
Good stuff, folks . . .

This is the first post of V 2.0 of Malarky Monday.
The chuckles aren’t going away folks but for now there will only be one blog (per week)
of the four of us that gets the nod from the cyberspacial dugout to post something absurd.
This week it’s my turn and I hope to make you chuckle or at the very least, smile.
Be sure to visit, Moe, Mark & Dilligaf for your daily dose of enlightenment.

This week is a mish-mash of things I happen to find quite funny.
Basically, a usual Malarky Monday for me.
Tune in here next week to see who’s posting the chuckles.

First up is a Chuck Norris-like kick in the proverbial muzzle of the repugnant ‘LOL Cats’
(aka, icanhazcheeseburger)
I personally love this pic . . .

Have you ever wondered why so many urban males wear their
over-sized bluejeans so goddamned low?
I have, too.
Jesus Krispies, their waistline is at the level of their knees for God’s sake.
How the hell do they not walk like penguins?
I think this picture explains it nicely, don’t you?

One .gif image for good measure;
Sodomy has never been funnier, methinks . . .

Last but certainly not least is a short video from a YouTube favorite of mine.
Check out Bad Mystic Cat . . .
(subscribe to Klaatu42 if you like these videos)

Happy Malarky Monday, folks!!!!

Welcome back to Malarky Monday!
It’s a new week and a fresh post of hi-jinx and mayhem.
My female cat, Opus, has gone MIA so with that in mind I found a few pictures
that may offer some clue as to where she may be.
Yeah, she’s gone undercover for the cat Mafia.
I can just feel it.
After your visit here, please head on over to my partners in crime:

*Moe*
*Morky*
*Dilligaf*

Here’s one way for a cat to infiltrate the high security
bunny compound at Easter time . . .

Is there such a thing as an Easter Lemur?
I didn’t think so.
I got a chuckle out of the picture though.
Little guy needs some eye shadow . . .

Last but certainly not least, Opus may be in the middle of a vicious turf war.
Nah . . .

Happy Malarky Monday folks!

Having a melancholy little Wednesday afternoon here.
I’m cooking and listening to music but I don’t know . . .
No more details.
This is a song I used to play with a band I was in years ago and it evokes good memories.
I think that’s what I really need today.
And yes, I want to see the Northern Lights before I die.
It’s a definite on my bucket list . . .

Welcome to Malarky Monday!
I’m  hoping you get the idea by now.
After visiting here, click the links to the Malarky Monday gang and laugh your pants off!

This week is all about annoying things.
I’ve dealt with many lately so this post seemed natural in the overall scheme of things.

Yeah, fruit can be annoying.
And be annoyed . . .

There’s nothing more annoying than being chased by a 10-point buck loaded
with heat-seeking missiles.
I love .gif images . . .

Cell phones?
Annoying.
Especially when playing ‘You oughta know’
by Alanis Morissette.
God, she’s annoying . . .

Finally, there is nothing more annoying than
a woman that badly needs some mustache wax.
Nothing.
Her husband looks like he’s going to get his ass kicked when they get home.
Click on the picture to go to the website . . .

Now off you go!
Visit:
Moe
Morky
and
Dilligaf

& Happy Malarky Monday!

Malarky Monday is HERE!

AND HERE!

AND HERE!

AND HERE!

You know the drill by now.
Watch, read, listen and [hopefully] LAUGH!
Visit the above links after your visit here and be sure to have some
paper towels to wipe off your computer monitor.

I originally intended to go all political this week but have decided against it.
I’m not wussing out, I just hate listening to a certain faction of people whine incessantly
about the small stuff, okay?
That said, here are some pics that had me howling at the mOOn, so to speak.
Happy Malarky Monday peeples!!!
Be sure to click on the linx above after your visit here.
Danke . . .

Hopefully, you’ve heard or seen Chris Farley,
the motivational speaker
from Saturday Night Live.
Saw this and busted two guts . . .

This geographical phenomenon has always bugged me as well.

My God, I hated my 8th grade English teacher.
She had legs that belonged on a Grand piano and no tits whatsoever.
No wonder I never got a hankering for Raymond Carver.
Bummer.
Thanks for nothing, Nancy . . .

Last but not least, I am chillin’ out
wit my gnomies . . .

Happy Malarky Monday!!!!