Smoke and Mirrors

In a perfect world . . .

Category: wordpress templates


Anyone that visits here knows how much of a theme whore I used to be years ago.
I would change my theme 3X in one day, maybe even more.
(will someone make anonymum stop laughing?)
Definitely more times than I change my underwear.
I have calmed down a bit but today I saw what is currently up and said,
“Yup. It’s theme time!”
So if you’re wondering what happened, let’s just say my blog got a ‘face lift’
For now . . .
Be sure to check back for Malarky Monday!
And change those clocks!
Spring ahead.


I began reading the new Natalie Goldberg book  ‘Old Friend from Far Away’ a few days ago.
It’s a book custom-tailored for writers of memoir.
So far the book is quite good (like all of her books).
Page 14 has a prompt that I’ve decided to turn into a post.
The chapter is quite short:

Tell me what you will miss when you die.

When I die there will be many things that I will miss.
This list went on for quite a few pages but I’ve chosen an abbreviated version for your perusal.
If I included food you’d be here for a few days.
I mostly chose things from the category ‘matters of the heart’.
Feel free to steal this as a ‘meme’.
For you writers visiting, it’s a wonderful exercise. Do it.
Even if you don’t consider yourself a writer, it’s worth your time.
You can look at some of the things that really make your life worthwhile.
Here I go.

I will miss:

-Whispers in the dark
-Pamela’s eyes, voice, face and beautiful soul
-hearing the phrase, “I love you, Daddy,” whispered in my ear
-my three beautiful girls
-the sound of little footsteps coming down the stairs on Christmas morning
-my sister, my twin, the other part of my very soul
-Caitlin’s smile
-Ryan’s loveable way (and awesome jumpshot)
-Billy’s laugh
-All the people I truly love (if I’ve talked to you in the past year, consider yourself on this list)
-a warm and gentle rain
-the silent beauty of falling snow (yeah, I wrote that)
-the sound of surf at the Cape
-the smell of freshly cut grass in late spring
-stars (especially the constellation Orion, someday possibly the Southern Cross)
-my cats purring
-Cuban cigars
-Guinness (or any fairly decent dark beer like Porter or Stout)
-Makers’ Mark
-writing with a nice fountain pen on some fine quality paper
-the feeling of creating
-entering ‘the Zone’  (artists of all kinds know about this one)
-music (playing and listening)
-my piano
-weekend phone calls to a country far, far away with two incredibly special people
-memories of the Camp
-the aroma of an apple pie baked by my grandmother from summer’s long ago
-Blue Cheese
-Bill Hicks, Denis Leary, Sam Kinnison, George Carlin, Lewis Black and Dave Chapelle
-most importantly, my blog

And yes, I will dearly miss sex and exceptional breasts.
I’m not a freak.
Truthfully, what will you miss?

10 warning signs you have blogging issues

It’s been obvious to me for sometime now that I have some personal issues regarding my blog.
I spoke with a close childhood friend the other night (who occasionally reads here @Smoke and Mirrors)
and he said, “I can tell you really love your blog.”
He went on to say why he thought that way and I had to agree.
I do love my little place here.
It’s home.
As always with me, there’s a dark side, a side only seen by others like me.
It’s with that in mind that I came up with 10 blogging issues that you may be able to relate to:

If you’ve ever:

  1. Fallen asleep at your laptop (sitting up) while updating your plugins, theme, blogroll or widgets, you, my friend have issues.
  2. Spent longer than the time it takes to cook an 18lb turkey while looking for that elusive ‘perfect’ theme, I hope you had on your blogging Depends (for the times when the bathroom just has to wait)
  3. Posted a spam email because it struck you as oddly interesting and you just happened to find the perfect accompanying picture to go with it, it’s BCD, pal
    blogging compulsive disorder
  4. Had a conversation with a close non-writing friend and somehow wound up explaining how Google Adsense works, for the love of God, get checked.
  5. Seriously contemplated ordering bumperstickers, t-shirts and keychain beer openers with your URL on them, you need a support group.
  6. Suffered intermittent bouts of insomnia due to one of your unpublished drafts that’s been leaving you with desperate feelings of artistic inadequacy, there’s a strait jacket waiting somewhere with your name already written on it.
  7. Planned an upcoming summer vacation with more than one or two people on your blogroll, you’re justifiably insane. Your wireless mouse is constantly talking to you but at least you’re happy in your own little world. Eat a Snickers. You’re nuts anyway.
  8. Been jealous that Firefox can remember all 847 of your blog-related/ FTP passwords when you can’t even remember your cell phone number. There’s a word for people like you. Can’t recall what it is but yeah, you. (and me, I guess)
  9. Spoken to a Verizon rep in Tucson, Arizona to get your DSL fixed and somehow managed to slip in not only your blog name but your URL as well. Crazy people can be smooth sometimes.
  10. Wondered what you did with your time before you became a blogger.

I can say that this blogging thing still makes me happy
and that I am blessed to have a wife that
understands that.
Some people aren’t that lucky.
She knows what makes me tick, I guess.
And though I may tick a bit erratically sometimes,
she ultimately understands.
I’m nuts, but at least I’m lucky.
Don’t get much better than that.

“Still looking for that blue jean, baby queen
Prettiest girl I ever seen
See her shake on the movie screen, blog on . . .”

Theme Junkie

I’ve never been accused of many nasty things in the blogosphere in terms of blogging in general.
I’m a pretty easy going blogger that posts some nice stuff from time to time and
I feel I really don’t violate many “unwritten” rules.
Although, I do have moments in my life that find me a tad bit busier than I’d like.
Replying to comments and visiting folks on my blogroll tends to take a proverbial backseat, something I feel bad about but it happens to all of us at some point in time.
We do eventually get caught up.
I have, however, been subtly accused (and not so subtly accused) of being a template junkie.
I tend to hop on any “template train” that arrives via the FireFox Station.

If you’ve visited me over the past few nights you may have seen as many as three, maybe even four template changes in less than 20 minutes.
And yes, I can hear you . . . I can hear you screaming.
The frustrated cries of despair, the arrgghhh’s the oh-shits.

“What the . . . ?”
“Oh, for Christ’s sake he’s changed it again.”
“Murphy’s bi-polar, I swear, he’s bi-fucking-polar with this template crap!”
“Multiple blogging personality whackjob, I think.”

I’ve come to accept the fact that I am a veritable blogging template/theme “Sybil”.
Alright, a junkie.
I shoot these themes straight into my veins and I like it.
Love it, perhaps.
But if these dysfunctional template changes I occasionally make have caused you epileptic seizures, I apologize.
If my Vista “Segue Script” font made you kill your beloved pet, throw away that computer, blame me.
I’ll take it.
Maybe most people don’t even notice just how much I screw with my blog.
Maybe they do.
Boys will be boys, I guess.
One of these days I’m going cold turkey on this template changing thing.
I am.
Just not tonight . . .

© 2016 Smoke and Mirrors

Theme by Anders NorenUp ↑