I’ve played piano for 40+ years and one thing that’s always
pissed me up the wall is the size of my hands.
They’re incredibly small and very unlike Sergei Rachmaninoff, Dave Brubeck, Ray Garland,
McCoy Tyner, Bill Evans, George Gershwin and Charles Ives. (and I love them all)
These guys have gorilla sized hands.

Palm a basketball?
No problem.
Palm a watermelon?
Easy.
Hand me that piano?
No worries.
Play a chord with more notes than the fingers on two hands?
Got more ivory?

To try and play a Garland or Gershwin tune you need about 800mgs of ibuprofen an hour
before playing so you don’t cramp up too much.
I’m serious.
Chopin?
Small and fast hands, the little bastard.
He was a magician and quite the sex fiend from what I hear.
Russian hands and Roman fingers.

I saw this video a while back and forgot all about it.
Tonight I am tickled pink to post it.
Interesting though that to play the Charles Ives ‘Concord Sonata’ you need several pieces of wood
cut to specific sizes and weights in order to play the piece.
I guess his hands weren’t big enough.
Enjoy this amazing and funny video.
I love it from a musical standpoint as well as a comedic statement.
This is Rachmaninoff’s Prelude in C-sharp minor with much added levity.

“Small hands. But only hands small.”
I like this guy.
Alot.

What would Christopher Walken do?
I have a real hard time believing that Walken has a hard time doing anything.
Maybe transcribing chords for a Steely Dan song or playing a digeridoo but jeepers,
the guy acts, sings, and does comedy.
Not everyone likes him but I am a definite fan.
If you haven’t seen these videos (and are a Walken fan) you are in for a serious treat.
The guy amazes me from the standpoint of an artist.
If they ever come up with a ‘WWCWD’ bracelet, let me know.
I want one.

He dances too . . .

Good stuff.

M

I wrote  ‘The Frozen Man’ after listening to this song from James Taylor.
The song subject is a bit different than that of my poem but I credit JT with
the creative kick and ultimate catalyst I needed to write those words for my father.
My daughter Hannah, read ‘The Frozen Man’ in the pouring rain last Monday morning at North Cemetery.
Amidst the silence, there was nary a dry eye under the tent, especially me.
I listened to this song on my Nano tonight and got a bit misty.
I remember the day it inspired me to write the original poem for my Dad.
My deepest thanks to Yvonne for making my words
look so damn beautiful in calligraphy
(they were on display at his wake, btw)
Remembering my Dad today, who is no longer the Frozen Man.
He is finally free and I am slowly moving on . . .

Welcome to Malarky Monday!
If you haven’t been here, done that and bought the t-shirt
we take the first day of the week to see if we can get you to one simple thing:
Smile!
It’s silly but we are having a hell of a time doing it.
This is our ‘Silver Anniversary’ week.
25 posts!
Be sure to visit my fellows in hijinx from the land of Oz after your brief visit here.

*Moe
*Morky
*Dilligaf

Thought I would bring back my little kitty friend from several weeks ago.
This time he’s had a bit too much catnip.
Seems he really likes the stuff.

And never, EVER, trust a kangaroo.
the sneaky, bloody bastards . . . 

Don’t leave home without these . . .
(wtf?)
Makes anything into a sandwich, huh?
Too bad they don’t have pumpernickel . . .

Last but not least . . .
Have you been to the movies lately?
Mmmm . . .  yeah, I thought so.

Happy Malarky Monday folks!
Be sure to visit my whacky friends!

A dear friend of mine died last Sunday.
I just found out about it today.
Ironic that I was looking for something in my closet just the other day and
looked up on my bookshelf to see my old copy of
“Zen and Art of Motorcycle Maintenance”,
the cult novel by Robert Persig.
Its pink and black cover reeking ‘classic lit’.
Rod had given it to me many years ago during one of my visits to see him.
I thought, “I should really call him one of these days.”
Looks like I waited a bit too long.
His last words were supposedly, “With a little more time, I would’ve gotten it right!”
You were wrong, HRB.
You got it right this time, from where I’m standing.
Although there are no calling hours I thought some music would be appropriate.
He loved music.
This is your swan song, my dear friend.
I will miss you.

Out on the street I was talkin’ to a man
He said “there’s so much of this life of mine that I don’t understand”
You shouldn’t worry yes that ain’t no crime
Cause if you get it wrong you’ll get it right next time (next time).

You need direction, yeah you need a name
When you’re standing in the crossroads every highway looks the same
After a while you can recognize the signs
So if you get it wrong you’ll get it right next time (next time).

Life is a liar yeah life is a cheat
It’ll lead you on and pull the ground from underneath your feet
No use complainin’, don’t you worry, don’t you whine
Cause if you get it wrong you’ll get it right next time (next time).

You gotta grow, you gotta learn by your mistakes
You gotta die a little everyday just to try to stay awake
When you believe there’s no mountain you can climb
And if you get it wrong you’ll get it right next time (next time).

“Get it right next time” by Gerry Rafferty

Chill.
Grab a coffee, English Breakfast tea, Chai, cognac, scotch, bourbon, water and maybe a smoke,
all depending on where you are in the world of time zones.
Plug in some decent headphones and give yourself 7:40 minutes to just . . .
Chill.
This is ‘Both Sides Now’,  Herbie Hancock from River: The Joni Letters
Hancock is and has been a jazz piano God to me.
Forever.
And believe it or not he is 70 years old. (born in 1940)
At any rate, get a drink, perhaps a smoke and just
Chill.
for 7:40 . . .
Your brain will thank me.
This is musical/cerebral Zen at its finest.

Malarky Monday seems to be coming around quicker and quicker these days.
This is the one day that ‘Teh Blogocracy’
gets together and tries to make you giggle and spit.
We’ve had some real doozies so far so if you’ve yet to jump on the Malarky Monday bandwagon, what the
hell are you waiting for?
It’s a friggin’ hoot!
Bookmark us and come back every Monday for some seriously demented fun.
For me, this Monday’s hijinx is all about the animals and pets.
They make our lives wonderful in so damn many ways.
All they ask in return is that we feed them now and again.
Here’s to whacky world of our beloved animals . . .

Good doggie . . .
(now that’s a trick to teach a dog!)

Bad doggie . . .
(when life gives you lemons, plant a flower and go on a canine diet!  Jesus Krispies!)

Good cat.
(Will somebody please give this totally awesome fatcat a can of  beer and a cigar?)
((I Love this cat! He’s a furry-beer-bellied feline version of me!!!!!))

Bad LOL Cats . . . 
(could be Mafia-related)
((These guys mean business))

Move on and visit ‘Teh Blogocracy’
The Godfather says so!

***

Moe

Morky

Dilligaf

This is some awesome video with stuff blowing up.
Nothing like getting right to the point, eh?
It’s a guy thing so don’t ask me to explain it.
And I know, this has ‘cheat post’ written all over it.
You gotta admit, I keep it cool.
Click on the full screen and put on headphones for an Avatar-like experience.
Kinda.
Knuckles all around, boys . . .
Blow it up!

To my wife . . .
(and in a small way to a  very dear friend from Cape Cod ’09.  Do you remember?)

Amazing how fast a week goes these days.
It is once again Malarky Monday and the day we try to tickle your funny bone.
We are excited this week to have a new addition to MM in Diligaf.
Be sure to visit these crazy folks and troll their short list of archives.
Word on the street is that this week’s offering is outrageous.
Some awesome and hilarious stuff to be found there even though the blog is relatively young.
Anywhoo, have a blast with my finds this week.

First up is a very short commercial for Danier Leather.
I just love everything about this video (especially the brunette in the slinky dress)
Crank the sound for a great blues tune as well.
And be sure to watch to the very end.

And cats will be cats.
Even at Christmas . . .

And dogs will be dogs doing what they naturally do.
Even at Christmas . . .
Hey, at least the tree is taken care of.

And finally I thought I would help you out with some last minute email cards.

Click

HERE!!!!!

for the Top 5 funniest.

Now, please hop on your cyberspatial sleigh and visit my partners in crime:

Moe

Morky

Dilligaf

Happy Malarky Monday, folks!