Smoke and Mirrors

In a perfect world . . .

Category: fathers and daughters (page 1 of 6)

Go fly a drone

On Father’s Day this year, my daughter Sarah and son-in-law, Jonathan got me a gift card to
#the Grommet, a website with all kinds of cool stuff. [tnx guys!]
They wanted me to get something for myself that I would normally not spend my money on.
Unlike beer.
Or cigars.
Or bourbon.
I sat on this gift card like a corpulent mother hen waiting for something to hatch and catch my eye.
I saw a ‘spiralizer‘ that looked pretty cool but I knew I’d use it for a month before shelving the bastard.
Zucchini pasta would only satisfy this tummy for so long.
I saw a really interesting ‘smart watch’ knockoff called a Cookoo that sent you Facebook, Instagram, Twitter and text messages ever so discreetly.
It mysteriously disappeared off the site a month after I first saw it.
I forgot about the Grommet for several months (mainly because of a customer service issue which they can contact me about if they wish) until last week when I remembered my Father’s Day gift from June.
It took me a little bit to find the gift card buried in my Gmail more deeply than the undigested red meat in my carnival-like intestinal tract.
Then it was off to the Grommet for a bit of surfing.
I found something called a ‘Klevercase‘, a book bound tablet/Ipad cover.
Already got a case for my iPad.
Surfing some more the ‘little boy’ in me found the Nano quad-copter in the video above.
I watched the video several times.
And then a few more times after that.
It was ‘Hellsyeah’ cool.
I sent my wife a link to each product and asked, ‘Which one do you think I’d like?’
She sent me back a message in a nanosecond that said: Drone
I get my ‘neon orange‘ Nano Drone this Friday.
I feel like that little boy at Christmas.
Yeah, me.
And yeah, too cool.
Christmas is coming early, my friends.
And I also hear they have much better drones.
Hmmm . . .



The post title refers to a ‘time lapsed’ total sum (in minutes) of the time spent raising our daughters.
As a father, this video hit me like a ton of bricks.
The three little girls that I once took trick or treating on Halloween are now grown and handing out their own candy.
Time waits for no one.
And that includes me.




Pamela, birthday, love, life, time, family, soul


She’s so many things to me and our 3 girls . . .
She’s our best friend.
She’s the shoulder we lean/cry on.
She’s our alarm clock on mornings that we don’t want to get up, on Her we rely on (and mostly bitch at)
She’s the shine in all of our days.
She’s the heart that we’ll never give away.
She’s funny, she’s kind,  but she’s technologically super blind . . .
She’s there when we need her, she’s there when we need, and we’ll always need her. She’s our lady.
Happy Birthday to our best friend/confidante/psychologist/ psychiatrist/ and SO much more.
We love you and we want you around forever.
Have an awesome 39th birthday.
See you for Hibachi on Saturday night.
Mucho Sake for the birthday girl!
But open wide for the veggies!
And watch out for the volcano!!!!!!




She’s leaving home

love, family, daughters. life

Life is complicated.
As a parent, it’s even more so having children.
Pamela and I were blessed with three gorgeous, thoughtful, creative and extremely intelligent girls.
When one leaves the nest it’s always time for personal reflection.

Have we taught them enough about life?
Have we shown them what true love looks like?
Have we passed on our wisdom as to why Pamela and I are still married after 30+ years?
Have we done our best to teach them right from wrong?
Have we done our level best to show them our unconditional love?

I truly believe that the answer to all the above is an unequivocal ‘yes’.
Knowing that’s true somehow makes it easier to let go.
But know that I am FAR from letting go.

Jenna leaves this weekend.
She has a beautiful place that she’s moving to and she has a great draughthouse that shows great movies within walking distance.
There’s a great market nearby.
She has more DVD’s than Netflix has movies.
She has books.
God, does she have books.
She has clothes. (no comment)
She has love.
And she also has a man that will keep her safe. [he better]
That makes me happiest of all.
She has an amazing future in store and a good head on her shoulders.
Why should I worry, right?
I’ll be looking at her bedroom door on the way down the stairs every morning to see if she’s left for school.
Her room will be empty now but I’ll still look anyway.
And I’m going to miss her terribly.
I guess that’s what Dad’s do. over and over again.

Love you JMM, you’re the one that always makes me cry at Christmas.
You also burp alot louder than me.
Bitches must like loud burps.
Your true home will always be here at Shore Drive and your heart will forever be inside me and Mom.
Gentle seas, and a safe journey,
until you’re home at last.
And Bitches love home . . .



cold, dark,truth, sad, life

Much going on in my life right now.
Inlaws moved, an impending and amazing wedding to be, songs that need to be finished and loose ends that
desperately need to be tied.
i have my dark secrets.
Despicable me.
Sleep is my only nightly savior.
Sweet dreams tonight?
tIME WILL tELL . . .  TiME will Tell . . .



My Jenna

When Jenna was born the year was 1990.
A turbulent time for musicians.
I used to play this song at the time in a band called ‘Cats’ with Paul Lirange [Fate / American Standard]
We were an electronic duo consisting of drum machines and sequencers.
Whenever I hear this song, it reminds me of that time in my life.
It’s a pretty sweet message for a daughter.
Jenna is the funkiest/craziest of my daughters with her ‘outside of the box’ thinking and her amazing creativity and intelligence.
She is her father in many ways.
Just smarter.
And female.
And with no facial hair.
Happy birthday to a most amazing daughter that makes me proud, makes me smile, makes me laugh and
makes me hide under the table when she burps louder than I do.
“And I know you could surely survive without me, but if I have to live without you
tell me, what kind of man would I be?”
I never want to find out
Happy birthday, Jenna Maureen . . .

Fields of Music


Music has played a major part in my life.
No surprise for those of you that know me.
It introduced me to the love of my life, gained me acceptance in High School, been there for me
when I was down and when I was up, brought me closer to God and has never let me down.
I associate many songs with different times in my life; Crazy Love by Poco for my DownEast years,
I Go Crazy
by Paul Davis during my insane solo piano ‘Pamela’ years,
King of Wishful Thinking, for my years with ‘Cat’s’ and
‘Won’t you come in‘ from my Martin-Murphy ‘original’ band days.
I could go on and explain every single band and song but some of you have to work tomorrow.
You know who you are. [grin]
The song in the video above somehow became a favorite of mine and whenever I would hear it on my
Ipod I would text my daughter Sarah to make sure she was okay.
It was a Dad thing but it somehow became ‘our’ song.
I love the words, the music and the sentiment behind it.
It’s a comfortable song for me and Sas.
It has meaning and is filled with love and light although it does reference the colour grey.
If only I could get Bruce Hornsby to the wedding to play it.
In a perfect world, right?
Daddy’s Little Girl is sweet but it doesn’t hold a candle to this amazing song.
Sarah, my beautiful daughter, this is our song and we will dance.
Even though I’ll look goofy as hell.
I’m a musician.
We can’t dance!

“No matter what else happens
What the future will be
In a world so uncertain
Through the clouds it’s hard to see
I will grab you and carry you
Calm your fears if you’re afraid
We’ll go walking
Across the fields of gray.”

Kiss the Bride

I realized a short time ago that my life has changed dramatically in the past five to ten years.
I’ve changed as well.
I’m more grey (and I’ve earned every single one), still trying to lose some baby fat,
no longer gigging for a living or playing much music for that matter which is a bit sad.
I still tinker away at some Scott Joplin rags that I always wanted to play but my thoughts these days always turn back to writing.
The Alzheimer drama of years ago will remain embedded in my soul but my life is following a new set of coordinates these days.
I have much to look forward to in my life;
My firstborn is getting married in less than a year,
I have a future son-in-law that is a kindred spirit,
and I have thoughts and dreams of grandchildren on a daily/nightly basis.
It’s time for my blog to change and start to chronicle all the wonderful things that have transpired.
It was one year ago tomorrow that Jonathan (Sarah’s fiancé) took me to lunch at Sam Lagrassa’s in Boston.
We had a very nice lunch and enough time to walk around Downtown Crossing for a bit before I had to go back to work.
As we were walking . . .

Jon: I have something I wanted to ask you.
Me: Okay. What’s up? [I knew it was coming]
Jon: I want to marry Sarah and I’m asking for your blessing, and Pam’s.
Me: *stopping to shake his hand*
You have it.
(what I said in my head was “you had my blessing a year ago.”)

He called Pamela at work and got the same response.
Who asks for an approval of marriage these days?
The guy that’s marrying my daughter, that’s who.
My heart was very happy that day knowing that my daughter had found her true love.
Maybe love found her, I don’t know.
But I am now slated to be a ‘Father of the Bride’.
And I’ve been told that I can’t cry when I walk her down the aisle.
We have a problem.
I’ve also learned that eggplant is a colour as well as a vegetable.
God help me.
Wedding dresses and anything associated with them, eludes me right now.
I am a guy.
All I want is some really cool Cole Haan shoes.
And a nice grey flannel suit.
Maybe some cool socks.
And I am good.

to be continued . . .  {promise}


*and as far as growing older, I now use a 14 size font when I write!


thanksgiving, blessed, turkey, football, family

I have a 20+ pound turkey thawing in the fridge,
5lbs. of potatoes waiting to be cooked and mashed,
4lbs. of squash patiently waiting for some sweet spices and butter,
2lbs of turnip, Yams for a slamming Sweet potato casserole,
bread and cornbread stuffing to be made, fresh cranberries crying for sugar
and a hungry family that will be with me this Thursday afternoon to eat, drink and be merry.
Pamela is making Pecan, Apple and Chocolate Cream pies tomorrow morning.
I have an amazing HD TV to watch the Pats and the Jets play on Thursday night.
All is going as planned and I suddenly realize I am really blessed.
Almost severely blessed.
I will be cooking for most of the day tomorrow making this place where we live smell like home for my daughters, my wife, my neighbors.
With temps in the 50’s I will definitely have my kitchen door wide open.
I have so much but also know that some have so very little.
Thanksgiving has never been a holiday that I have ever taken for granted because I know that can change in a heartbeat.
With all that in mind, I wish the same blessings for all of you that are reading this.
Whether you are near or far, I wish you the peace of a beautiful holiday.
Somewhere amidst the chaos of a Thanksgiving dinner table,
I pray you find warmth, solace, laughter and love from all things that surround you.
To you, my friends.
But beware the tryptophan . . .


At the corner of Hope & Bleeker

hope, life, love, future

Hope is not the closing of your eyes to the difficulty,
the risk or the failure.
It is a trust that ~
if I fail now ~
I shall not fail forever; and if I am hurt,
I shall be healed.

It is a trust that life is good,
love is powerful,
and the future is full of promise.

This quote is ‘anonymous’ but seems to come straight from my heart to souls of my three daughters.
It was quite simply perfect for this time in their lives.
I always tell them to never give up, never quit and never ever stop dreaming.
I need to stress the importance and ultimate need of hope.
What would life be without it?
Find me @ #1 Bleeker Street.


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