Smoke and Mirrors

In a perfect world . . .

Category: Computer (page 1 of 2)


No mozzarella here.
Just real hard drives being shredded.
Yeah, just think about all the info, music, photos and .exe files saying their last ‘buh-bye’
It’s all about going green, right?
If you listen close you can hear the little guys screaming.
Gives new meaning to MEGA-bite doesn’t it?

Malarkey Monday 8

It is Malarkey Monday once again. (almost, here in the States)
Where the hell did the week go?
I give up.
I won’t give up on the strange pics, vids and sites I’ve found this week though.
Happy Malarkey Monday folks!
Take the ‘suck’ out of your Monday and laugh a bit, okay?
I won’t keep you long . . .

Never underestimate the power of a good story.
It may save your life.
Or not.

Like Chinese food?
So does John Pinette.
Check it out.

A picture for shits, giggles and some pussy humor . . .

Do you like Halloween Desktop wallpaper?
Click on the pic below and thank me later . . .

Please visit my Malarkey Monday cohorts!
They love the comments!!!!!


12 more things my daughters have taught me

  • Crappy ringtones are unacceptable. Upload a favorite song for free at
    My current ringtone is the first 40 seconds of ‘We won’t get fooled again’ by The Who.
    ‘Panama’ by Van Halen let’s me know when Pamela is calling.
  • Even a 50 year-old guy can learn to use Word (T9) to text on a cell phone.
    Drives them crazy that I can text almost as fast as them now.
  • What life used to be like when I was 20 and how much fun I had.
  • To never give up. Ever.
    (who’s teaching who here?)
  • What phrases like ‘cover flow’ and ‘shake to shuffle’ mean. (Ipod terms)
  • How to upload a Wordle to my cell phone. (Pam and I have Zero for Zooz on our cells) (Zooz Wordle)
  • My day off is not for me to rest. It’s the day I cook one of them a favorite meal, ultimately receiving a load of laundry that needs to be done . . .  ahem, Sarah . . .
  • Silence is a legitimate answer (as is yup, nope, uh-huh and dunno)
  • Time is like a river . . .  to the sea
  • Life is not always fair.
  • College girlfriends can be incredibly vicious. And really nice. (all in the same day)
  • That I am truly blessed to have 3 (and 4) such incredible women in my life.
  • watch out guys, these girls are tigers.


Did anyone see this coming?
Poor Manny.
Oh, shit, I mean, rich Manny.
I’m struggling to pay my mortgage and this lying asswipe is making how much a year?
I’m going to bed.
Maybe I should look into some hypodermic needles.
Or not . . .


I’ll be spending the next week or so getting my laptop up and running.
From what technician said last night, my hard drive is fried.
It’s covered by warranty but I’ve lost so much stuff.
Not a happy camper right now.


I’m no computer geek but I have to say you should seriously think about downloading
If you’re still using Internet Explorer, wake up, it’s a nastyass browser.
It sucks up more temp files than any browser currently known to man.
Temp files only insert dirty juice to slow down your machine.
Several months ago I downloaded FF3 and hated it.
I uninstalled it and re-loaded V2.
The bugs just weren’t worked out.
After watching this video, I changed my mind and decided to give it a go.
As of this moment, I’m pretty happy with it.
It’s faster and has some very creative features.
I will tell you that the machine it’s currently on is running Vista and I think that makes a difference.
Also, to keep your PC up and running, consider CCleaner, a little program with
incredible cleaning power in terms of temp files and internet clutter.
It also has a registry cleaner that works quite well.
Stop using Internet Explorer!

Firefox is free and totally amazing.
That was my little technological rant.
Hope it helps.
For Firefox3 look to my left sidebar and click it.
Again, watch out if you’re running XP.
As of several days ago there were still some minor glitch issues.
Regarding FF, as Nike says, “Just do it.”

Just me and Moe

My interview with Moe is up an running at the Nook and though I’m not 100% satisfied with it (no fault of Moe’s, mind you) I think you’ll see a different side of me. I think.

The story of me and Moe is quite interesting; it’s serendipity of the highest order.
It began when I was at Blogger, my tadpole blogging stage.
I met some very interesting people back then: Evyl, Carnealian and Snotsucker; these are friends I am obviously still in touch with today.
But I wanted to drive more traffic to my blog so I signed up at BlogExplosion.
BE is very basic in the way that it works: you surf random blogs and get random visits in return.
Some people leave comments, most don’t.
I’m a bit fuzzy on how it happened but one day I found a comment on an insignificant post that said, ” very nice site, love the background and the totally irrelevant pic. With all the blogs I’ve seen I think a cat pic is mandatory at some point!! I’m not stealing your button, but I’m blogrolling you.”
I don’t think I even knew that the hell getting blogrolled was at that point but I liked the fact that someone was doing it to me.
She signed her name, “Debambam”.
Hmmm . . . I liked the Flintstones. A good sign.
I visited Debambam’s site and came to find out that her name was Kelly and she was from Australia.
Yeah, how cool is that? An Aussie blogrolling your fanny. Coolbeans.
In my mind, I heard an Aussie accent whenever I read one of her comments.
She was intelligent, witty, compassionate and a wonderful addition to my blogroll.
It was around that time that I noticed something strange in my Sitemeter stat page.
Someone was spending an inordinate amount of time reading everything on my blog.
And they were from Australia.
I had an incredible amount of info at my fingertips thanks to Sitemeter and it astounded me.
I emailed Kelly and asked if she was hitting my blog.
She knew nothing about it and said it definitely wasn’t her.
Hmm . . . Very mysterious.
It was on THIS POST
that I was first introduced to Maureen.
The comment was signed by “anonymum” with no URL.
(no URL, how frickin’ weird is that? An internet without Moe? I don’t frickin’ think so!)
I knew who she was because of the amount of time I used to spend at Kelly’s blog.
I’m thinking, “Kell’s Mum is visiting me. How cool is that?”
Long story short, I found out who my Australian “lurker” was (MOE!) ultimately making what has turned out to be a very sincere and honest friendship. (with not only Moe but her husband Mark, a new and absolutely bloody wonderful mate of mine)
Maureen and I are much like brother and sister (ironic that my twin sister’s name is Maureen).
In many ways, whether she knows it or not, she has inspired me in my writing and has become the kind of long distance friend that some people can only dream about.
I consider her (and Mark, and Kelly, Tony and Zoe!) to be close to family.

Maureen? My heart thanks you for the many smiles since we first met. (and the vegemite)
You know my heart. Maybe that’s enough.
As far as the above, that’s my story and I’m sticking to it.

Now head over to the Nook and rip me a new one.
Lord knows, I probably deserve it.
Check out my day in the warm Australian sun . . .
maybe someday . . .


Though I’m not exactly sure what’s going on, today has been a very interesting day here at
Smoke and Mirrors.
I opened a browser this afternoon to see if anything was happening on my blog and *Kaaboom*
people were visiting.
Yeah, I like that but what the hell are they reading?
I clicked on my “Who’s Among Us” icon and my mind almost exploded.
The map for the US was actually glowing.
Oh, great, I thought, now I may be responsible for WW3 the way it looked.
Yes, it took my cheeno’s to Browntown.
Virtually everyone was reading THIS POST
There’s a party in my house and I wasn’t even invited?
I don’t get it.
My stats are absolutely off the wall.
Closing in on 1,000 hits for today.
I love the traffic but . . .
Just plain weird, folks, really frickin’ weird
For everyone that visited, one brave soul left a comment.
Ah, well . . .

Elektronic (or Elvis is Everywhere)

Back in the late 70’s and early 80’s I was gigging on a regular basis. (gigging = playing music i.e., weddings, night clubs, festivals, frat parties)
For a working musician, the times were good.
Actually, that’s wrong, they were the best.
Although things have changed dramatically and DJ’s continue to unjustly monopolize the wedding industry I still have rather fond memories of the good old days.
I read this short post at FFE’s blog and the wheels began turning.

Back in ’79 I got into a very popular cover band and was told I needed to purchase a specific wardrobe to be worn when we played various nightclubs in the area.
It didn’t seem like a big deal to me at the time until I found out exactly what I would need to purchase.
Alright, I’ll describe it.
And if you laugh, you’re freekin’ dead.
Here goes: tight, hip-hugging, white bell-bottoms (the widest bb’s I’d ever seen with a red silk insert on the outer seam), a red silk shirt with lapels that came down to my nipples, a white and tres skimpy white vest that rode somewhere near the bottom of my rib cage and a pair of (God help me) hideous ruby red platform shoes ala Elton John and the Yellow Brick Road.
You want to put me out of my misery already, don’tcha?
I would wear this ‘manly-gear’ mainly at nightclubs.
After the band finished the night (@1:45 -2:00am) I’d be hungry and would venture into Worcester to a tex-mex place called “The MidHeaven” for a few tacos or enchiladas.
The eating part doesn’t strike me as strange but the fact that I still had on my stage clothes deeply disturbs me these days.
Go ahead.
Ask me.
Michael, what in God’s name were you thinking? You’re lucky you’re alive you stupid bastard.
I must have looked like some bizarre Elvis wanna-be, incarnated and twice removed.
Dear God, please someone shoot me . . . uh-huh-huh
Maybe that’s why no one ever bothered with me.
They thought I was dead.
I’m alive to tell the tale so . . .
God damn, I looked goofy.
But I got babes.
Go figure.
Must have been the hip-huggers.
I saw the video below and thought, “This video deserves a post.”

Most memorable line from the video?
The really memorable line from the video?

” . . . my blue jeans is tight
so onto my love rocket climb . . .”

Is that frickin’ poetry or what?

A small, insignificant and relatively stinky Haiku for Bob

How come you so big?

You scare my wife and keetons

Bobby try diet . . .

Sarah informed us that Bob would be returning for a few days.
His stay will be mercifully brief because he’s outta here on Sunday morning when we bring her back to school. {excuse me, college}
Bob is currently residing in the hallway upstairs.
I found that out last night (1:34am) when I was needlessly mugged by a dark-hooded Hollister sweatshirt on my way to the bathroom.

My only thought today was where in God’s name did the summer go?

I’ve already noticed a few brave trees offering up their chlorophyll, preparation for a special place on the ever popular New England Autumnal Palette.
The hands of time are moving too damn fast for me these days.
I just said ‘hello’ to summer and now I’m sadly saying ‘goodbye’.

And I hate that.

I really, really do.

Relinquishing my sacred seat on the porch has never been easy.
I used to love the fall but even that has changed for me; probably because the autumnal equinox is the natural pre-cursor to the personal arctic abomination I now refer to as “freekin’ winter”.

The past few days have kicked my ass but the computer is once again up and running and the ‘blue screen of death’ is but mere memory. Ahh . . . .
And thank my lucky stars because I can already hear Bob calling me for more space.

I promise to catch up on my “comment absence” by early next week.

keep the faith,


PS. Happy Birthday, LiHo!!!!!!

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