Smoke and Mirrors

In a perfect world . . .

Category: Cats (page 1 of 4)

3 Weeks

3 weeks are winding down and I just can’t believe how fast its gone.
The biggest part of me feels sad that Maureen and Mark will be flying out on Friday afternoon,
the smaller part feels very happy that they will be going home to family and friends.
(I know, a bit selfish)
This is a picture post of some of the places we’ve seen and things that we’ve done these past 3 weeks.
Look for more pictures and many future posts about this most special of vacations for
Pamela, me and the girls.
This has been like a little slice of  heaven . . .

Yet to see . . .


You have no idea.
This clip is a bit longer than I like but damn, it’s worth watching.
The boys from the UK have done it once again.
Now there’s a surprise, huh?
Get some popcorn, cheese and crackers and a beer.
Maybe a Dublin ‘side car’ for good measure.
Good stuff, folks . . .

Malarky Monday (snkrI)

This is the first post of V 2.0 of Malarky Monday.
The chuckles aren’t going away folks but for now there will only be one blog (per week)
of the four of us that gets the nod from the cyberspacial dugout to post something absurd.
This week it’s my turn and I hope to make you chuckle or at the very least, smile.
Be sure to visit, Moe, Mark & Dilligaf for your daily dose of enlightenment.

This week is a mish-mash of things I happen to find quite funny.
Basically, a usual Malarky Monday for me.
Tune in here next week to see who’s posting the chuckles.

First up is a Chuck Norris-like kick in the proverbial muzzle of the repugnant ‘LOL Cats’
(aka, icanhazcheeseburger)
I personally love this pic . . .

Have you ever wondered why so many urban males wear their
over-sized bluejeans so goddamned low?
I have, too.
Jesus Krispies, their waistline is at the level of their knees for God’s sake.
How the hell do they not walk like penguins?
I think this picture explains it nicely, don’t you?

One .gif image for good measure;
Sodomy has never been funnier, methinks . . .

Last but certainly not least is a short video from a YouTube favorite of mine.
Check out Bad Mystic Cat . . .
(subscribe to Klaatu42 if you like these videos)

Happy Malarky Monday, folks!!!!

Malarky Monday 25.4

Welcome back to Malarky Monday!
It’s a new week and a fresh post of hi-jinx and mayhem.
My female cat, Opus, has gone MIA so with that in mind I found a few pictures
that may offer some clue as to where she may be.
Yeah, she’s gone undercover for the cat Mafia.
I can just feel it.
After your visit here, please head on over to my partners in crime:


Here’s one way for a cat to infiltrate the high security
bunny compound at Easter time . . .

Is there such a thing as an Easter Lemur?
I didn’t think so.
I got a chuckle out of the picture though.
Little guy needs some eye shadow . . .

Last but certainly not least, Opus may be in the middle of a vicious turf war.
Nah . . .

Happy Malarky Monday folks!

Malarky Monday 25.2

Welcome to Malarky Monday!
(the *I Spy edition)
This is the one day of the week that we offer up some
of the crazy stuff we find floating around the web.
We hope to make you giggle, spit, laugh, cry until it hurts and ultimately smile.
There’s nothing here that will take a boatload of time so be sure to visit
my fellows in hijinx!


This week I ‘spied’ some serious and epic fails on the net.
Here are several leviathan food fails.
Anyone for some canned chicken?
I spy wicked disgusting.

How about a bacon rifle?
I wonder if it can fire a fried egg?
I spy a stupid guy way too proud of a pork product.

Or my personal favorite: Meat Water
Mmm, mmm, mmm
You just can’t beat the combination of ground beef and aged cheddar.
I didn’t even mention the ease of portability.
Got ketchup?
I spy a drink that’s light years away from thirst quenching.

Last but not least this hysterical cat clip.
I spy a seriously funny cat.



Happy Malarky Monday!

Malarky Monday 25

Welcome to Malarky Monday!
If you haven’t been here, done that and bought the t-shirt smilies
we take the first day of the week to see if we can get you to one simple thing:
Smile! smilies
It’s silly but we are having a hell of a time doing it.
This is our ‘Silver Anniversary’ week.
25 posts!
Be sure to visit my fellows in hijinx from the land of Oz after your brief visit here.


Thought I would bring back my little kitty friend from several weeks ago.
This time he’s had a bit too much catnip.
Seems he really likes the stuff.


And never, EVER, trust a kangaroo.
the sneaky, bloody bastards . . . 



Don’t leave home without these . . .
Makes anything into a sandwich, huh?
Too bad they don’t have pumpernickel . . .


Last but not least . . .
Have you been to the movies lately?
Mmmm . . .  yeah, I thought so.

Happy Malarky Monday folks!
Be sure to visit my whacky friends!

High Five

It was 5 years ago that I hit the ‘publish’ button for this post.
Many things have happened since that innocent and ‘so me’ post.
I like to think my writing has matured a bit and that I have taken many of you
on my journey down the road of life.
I want to thank each and every one of you for being a part of my life (good or bad)
for the past 5 years.
You have enlightened me, guided me, made me laugh and have given me solace when I needed it most.
You guys are incredible.
I will pat myself on the back for blatant consistency.
I think I can give me that.
There are several people I need to deeply thank.
Pamela, for believing in me when I no longer believe in myself. (and letting me know about it)
My three girls for keeping me on my  toes. Always.
For Jon, he keeps me cooking. I love cooking,
He is a man that will drive through hell and high water to have a bowl of my Cincinnati Chili,
Thanks, Jon
Last but not least, my family from Australia.
Maureen, Mark, Kelly.Zoe, Mel, Steve, Tash, Stick, Wil, Stella, Lucas, Issac, Max and all!
(who did I miss?)
Thanks to all that have visited and commented.
Read some ”’old”” Murph  . . . .
And watch the video at the end!


This is a piece I wrote several years ago but still seems to me to apply to the present day music industry.
I am still a musician at heart but venues to work in are drying up faster than a droplet of water in a bucket of dry sand.
It’s an abysmal state of affairs these days musically and sadly we all saw it coming.
Some say business is cyclical. I wonder.
Hey, Paul McCartney played the halftime show Super Bowl Sunday, right?

Remembering Miss American Pie

The musicians of the 60’s and 70’s had a wealth of powerful and insightful compositions from which to draw their inspiration. The songs had shine and creative musical integrity that would forever set them apart from today’s musical mainstream.
The music spoke of the dynamic of the human experience; from love found and lost to political innuendo shaking hands with world peace.
The older generation frowned upon these freedoms of expression and saw the music created as an irrevocable evil to be stamped out in the hopes of ending the reign of terror that floated over the airwaves.
From the shaking hips of Elvis to the Mop-Tops from England to the androgynous and enigmatic David Bowie, the music written back then made us think and connect; it gave us an up close and personal view of the broken heart.
So what the hell happened to perceptive content?
Music, in its purest form is therapy, a most fundamental discipline of meditation the human race has, but along the way we altered the magic formula, ultimately changing its destiny as well.
It’s supposed to make you feel good.
Just think of a song that truly means something to you, take out a piece of paper, and jot down five things that come to mind immediately.
Chances are you can come up with more than ten.
That’s the miracle of music; when something unexpected touches the heart.
Much of what I hear today is tainted, biased and so musically inept that when I hear one of these prized gems, I can only wildly shake my head and slobber saliva like an angry PBR bull (which tends to make loved ones around me very uncomfortable).
A rule of thumb for future songwriters regarding lyrics: if it rhymes with shucking but has nothing to do with corn, get out a thesaurus and find another word.
The English language is chock full of them. Really.
It seems that few people write real songs anymore; that is a simple and yet sobering fact, not a generality. If it weren’t for artists like John Mayer and Dave Matthews, I’d have lost my mind by now.
Much of the music today is like bad poetry, arranged, set to a groove from the late eighties, and thrown into a 4,000 track, all digital recorder (yes, all the tracks must be used, read the contract).
Recently, while listening to a song on a brand X radio station out of Boston—the exact frequency slips my mind…you’re welcome—I remember thinking to myself, what language is this guy speaking?
I strained to hear anything remotely intelligible.
Musically speaking, the song was as mundane and pedestrian as an arrangement that oozes from a generic portable keyboard purchased at Wal-Mart.
I also thought that somewhere in the midst of this urban cacophony, I could hear the sound of a dog being run over and over, and over again… I’m not positive about that and maybe it’s just me. Somebody call the ASPCA.
The inspiration for this article came to me as I ambled down Main Street a few weeks ago (us old guys don’t walk, we amble…it’s much hipper) when a pulsating sub-compact Toyota Celica loaded with what sounded like two, maybe three 18-inch subwoofers drove past me towards City Hall, emitting music so thunderous it almost knocked down the lady walking next to me.
Initially, I thought it was just wind.
I didn’t get the license plate number because I was too busy bending over to retrieve my own two eyeballs off the sidewalk.
Sound pressure levels that can cause buildings to vibrate precariously…hmm, I wondered if the Slater Building was up to code on that one.
Nope, we are definitely not in Kansas anymore, Toto.
Then there’s the whole debacle surrounding present day artists hiding behind the 5th amendment, and we all can see what a gush of rotting sewage that is, but it doesn’t mean we have to buy a bucketful of it.
When a major proportion of the music available has a “parental advisory” sticker slapped on it, what’s left for those of us who prefer substance in what we listen to?
Maybe we need a special store that caters to people fed up with listening to music and lyrics that insult our intelligence with the glorification of worthless profanity while wasting our hard earned money on garbage that someone in the recording industry somehow deemed fit for human consumption. Bon appétit.
Maybe I’m not meant to understand what all the hype and excitement in the industry is about these days, because I’m no longer a child.
But there’s always that outside chance that as I struggle with my own foreseeable mid-life crisis, I’ll pleasantly discover that perhaps I’ve grown a little bit wiser in the process.
Just watch the Grammy Awards this year for a taste of the ultimate in garishness.
In the end, the music we choose to listen to and support should remain solely in the hands of the listener, but the overall message that it brings should be more of a boon to society as opposed to an outrage against the machine.
Comedian George Carlin hit the proverbial nail on the head when he stated that, “…inside every silver lining, there’s a dark cloud.”
Get out your umbrellas, kids; it looks like rain.


Happy 5 To S&M!!!!!!!
See you for the next five years . . .
I hope!

Malarky Monday 20

Malarky Monday seems to be coming around quicker and quicker these days.
This is the one day that ‘Teh Blogocracy’
gets together and tries to make you giggle and spit.
We’ve had some real doozies so far so if you’ve yet to jump on the Malarky Monday bandwagon, what the
hell are you waiting for?
It’s a friggin’ hoot!
Bookmark us and come back every Monday for some seriously demented fun.
For me, this Monday’s hijinx is all about the animals and pets.
They make our lives wonderful in so damn many ways.
All they ask in return is that we feed them now and again.
Here’s to whacky world of our beloved animals . . .


Good doggie . . .
(now that’s a trick to teach a dog!)


Bad doggie . . .
(when life gives you lemons, plant a flower and go on a canine diet!  Jesus Krispies!)

Good cat.
(Will somebody please give this totally awesome fatcat a can of  beer and a cigar?)
((I Love this cat! He’s a furry-beer-bellied feline version of me!!!!!))


Bad LOL Cats . . . 
(could be Mafia-related)
((These guys mean business))


Move on and visit ‘Teh Blogocracy’
The Godfather says so!






Malarky Monday 19

Once again it is Malarky Monday and a chance to make you laugh and giggle.
If you don’t smile once, I will refund your visit (although I’m not sure how)
For those of you following me on Facebook, click the links below! (and visit my mentally unstable fellows!)
This week is a collage of pics (some I edited) that I simply loved and made me laugh.
First up:


Poor Little Keeton
kitty loves Borat . . .

Way Too Much MSG . . .
Scorpion Bowls, too

Ever heard the phrase,
“I’ve never gone to bed with an ugly woman but I’ve woken up with a few”?
Screw the condoms, remember to bring your Postit notes.
At least you’ll remember her name in the morning.
(approx weight. opt)


Last but not least, some software that never quite made it to the market.
Or MY computer . . .



Please visit my fellow COHORTS!
More laughs, more fun, more hijinx, more Malarky Monday!
Hooroo! (buh-bye Australian-style)




Malarkey Monday 8

It is Malarkey Monday once again. (almost, here in the States)
Where the hell did the week go?
I give up.
I won’t give up on the strange pics, vids and sites I’ve found this week though.
Happy Malarkey Monday folks!
Take the ‘suck’ out of your Monday and laugh a bit, okay?
I won’t keep you long . . .

Never underestimate the power of a good story.
It may save your life.
Or not.

Like Chinese food?
So does John Pinette.
Check it out.

A picture for shits, giggles and some pussy humor . . .

Do you like Halloween Desktop wallpaper?
Click on the pic below and thank me later . . .

Please visit my Malarkey Monday cohorts!
They love the comments!!!!!


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