Malarky Monday 19

Once again it is Malarky Monday and a chance to make you laugh and giggle.
If you don’t smile once, I will refund your visit (although I’m not sure how)
For those of you following me on Facebook, click the links below! (and visit my mentally unstable fellows!)
This week is a collage of pics (some I edited) that I simply loved and made me laugh.
First up:

 

Poor Little Keeton
kitty loves Borat . . .


Way Too Much MSG . . .
Scorpion Bowls, too


Ever heard the phrase,
“I’ve never gone to bed with an ugly woman but I’ve woken up with a few”?
Screw the condoms, remember to bring your Postit notes.
At least you’ll remember her name in the morning.
(approx weight. opt)

 

Last but not least, some software that never quite made it to the market.
Or MY computer . . .

 

 

Please visit my fellow COHORTS!
More laughs, more fun, more hijinx, more Malarky Monday!
Hooroo! (buh-bye Australian-style)

Moe
Morky
Dilligaf

 

 

10 warning signs you have blogging issues

It’s been obvious to me for sometime now that I have some personal issues regarding my blog.
I spoke with a close childhood friend the other night (who occasionally reads here @Smoke and Mirrors)
and he said, “I can tell you really love your blog.”
He went on to say why he thought that way and I had to agree.
I do love my little place here.
It’s home.
As always with me, there’s a dark side, a side only seen by others like me.
It’s with that in mind that I came up with 10 blogging issues that you may be able to relate to:

If you’ve ever:

  1. Fallen asleep at your laptop (sitting up) while updating your plugins, theme, blogroll or widgets, you, my friend have issues.
  2. Spent longer than the time it takes to cook an 18lb turkey while looking for that elusive ‘perfect’ theme, I hope you had on your blogging Depends (for the times when the bathroom just has to wait)
  3. Posted a spam email because it struck you as oddly interesting and you just happened to find the perfect accompanying picture to go with it, it’s BCD, pal
    blogging compulsive disorder
  4. Had a conversation with a close non-writing friend and somehow wound up explaining how Google Adsense works, for the love of God, get checked.
  5. Seriously contemplated ordering bumperstickers, t-shirts and keychain beer openers with your URL on them, you need a support group.
  6. Suffered intermittent bouts of insomnia due to one of your unpublished drafts that’s been leaving you with desperate feelings of artistic inadequacy, there’s a strait jacket waiting somewhere with your name already written on it.
  7. Planned an upcoming summer vacation with more than one or two people on your blogroll, you’re justifiably insane. Your wireless mouse is constantly talking to you but at least you’re happy in your own little world. Eat a Snickers. You’re nuts anyway.
  8. Been jealous that Firefox can remember all 847 of your blog-related/ FTP passwords when you can’t even remember your cell phone number. There’s a word for people like you. Can’t recall what it is but yeah, you. (and me, I guess)
  9. Spoken to a Verizon rep in Tucson, Arizona to get your DSL fixed and somehow managed to slip in not only your blog name but your URL as well. Crazy people can be smooth sometimes.
  10. Wondered what you did with your time before you became a blogger.

I can say that this blogging thing still makes me happy
and that I am blessed to have a wife that
understands that.
Some people aren’t that lucky.
She knows what makes me tick, I guess.
And though I may tick a bit erratically sometimes,
she ultimately understands.
I’m nuts, but at least I’m lucky.
Don’t get much better than that.

“Still looking for that blue jean, baby queen
Prettiest girl I ever seen
See her shake on the movie screen, blog on . . .”
BLOG ON.

Scribblers

I was given this award a few months ago by Annie, a writer I truly admire (and a dear friend).
She gave me the award saying this; Michael at Smoke & Mirrors because his landscape is beautiful and touching, albeit often sad, and so very real that his words can touch as no others can.”
I have to apologize for being so damn late.
Thank you, WC.

Here are the rules for the winners:

  • Each Superior Scribbler must in turn pass The Award on to 5 most-deserving Bloggy Friends.
  • Each Superior Scribbler must link to the author & the name of the blog from whom he/she has received The Award.
  • Each Superior Scribbler must display The Award on his/her blog, and link to This Post, which explains The Award.
  • Each Blogger who wins The Superior Scribbler Award must visit this post and add his/her name to the Mr. Linky List. That way, we’ll be able to keep up-to-date on everyone who receives This Prestigious Honor!
  • Each Superior Scribbler must post these rules on his/her blog.

I’m bestowing this honor on five bloggers that I feel are deserving in so very many ways.
They are all wonderful and have added so much colour and creativity to our cyberspatial community.

Spasmically Perfect

Spaz and I go way back to the early days.
A comment of hers left me speechless and I haven’t stopped visiting her since.
If you haven’t spent some time at this very special blog you are missing out on some wonderful stories, prose and the thoughts of one incredibly creative woman.

Enreal

Not sure how we linked up initially but I’m so very glad that we did.
A visit to this place is simply magical.
Her words are not unlike a wonderful session of yoga for the restless mind.
Trust me.

Grimm

What can I say about a guy like me that is totally in love with his wife and kids?
Grimm is a lighter and much funnier version of yours truly.
This is a guy that really deserves more recognition that what he gets.
I found Grimm on BlogExplosion a little while back and have been thoroughly entertained since.
I am proud and truly honoured to call him a friend.

Poetikat

A blog that makes you laugh, cry and give serious thought to the many serious questions regarding our lives.
Kat is a writer/poet that truly inspires me to be just a bit more, creatively speaking.
Though she has an avid following I had to give her this award.
Please stop by and say hi to Kat.

Smith

Although he’s the ultimate blogslacker, he writes very well and has a joyfully sardonic sense of humor.
His view on the world is uniquely his own and I love the fact that he can verbally smackdown
the most intellectual of assholes with the most succinct use of the English language known to man.
Did I say he writes well?
Please visit Smith.
Someone has to at least tell him he won an award . . .  (yeah, i’m a wisearse)

Congrats to all!

Potpourri a trois

balls

About a year ago, a friend of mine began asking about my blog.
What do you write about?
How often do you have to post?
What are those thingy’s on the side of it?

I remember thinking at the time, if this guy writes anything like the way he talks and views the world, he’s a natural born blogger.

How about that for a movie title?
Natural Born Bloggers.
Anyway, as most of you know I can squeeze a mention of my blog into virtually any conversation. If you’re talking about food, I got recipes. Or the mechanics and the inner workings of a pick-up truck, I’ve got a Dakota from Hell.
Let’s say I was at a mortician’s convention, I could maintain a conversation about the latest in cadaver spackling compound and wound filler.

Maybe you bring me into a conversation about Rap Music…alright, we won’t go there.

Sorry, off on a tangent…

If you read any of the comments from my post “Saturdays”, you will see a comment from someone that goes by the name of “murder of ravens”.

I saw the comment and thought, uh-huh, another blogger is born.

I knew my friend liked the name “MurderofRavens”.

He even asked if knew what a “murder” was and was disappointed to learn that I did.

I went to his blog and read THIS post.

He’s opinionated and intelligent and at times very funny. I suggest you stop by and say hi. Tell him to get off his ass and post something new as well. He’s already turning into a wicked blogslacker.

If you don’t like what you see, in the inimitable words of Smith, blame Michael.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

 

I wanted to thank all the people that stopped by and read the tributes I wrote for Amy Jarret and Steve Jacoby.
I could tell by my blog stats that there were many readers but not as many comments.
As long as the tributes were read, I’m truly happy.
On another note, my good friend Kelly from Spilling the Beans is still actively participating in the tribute campaign.
She wants on one from 9/11 to be left out.
She is a ‘tribute’ machine (and a great one at that).
I intend on stopping by every few days to see who she’ll “introduce” me to.
That she’s so giving of her time and her talents warms my heart.
Help keep the memory of these unfortunate folks alive and visit often.

 * * *  * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

I posted a bit of poetry a while ago and received a comment from someone that was quite simple while at the same time complex. It simply said, “disturbingly beautiful”.

I visited the URL and discovered a pleasant surprise; someone that can actually write. Spasmically Perfect is the place to go if you like poetry and deep thought.
I can’t tell you much about the author because there’s really nothing to tell; an air of mystery surrounds it.
I do find that every time I visit I come away with a fresh and unique idea regarding the intelligent wordplay of the English language.
The blog is creative and impeccably well-written and always original.
Give SP a visit.
It’s like Yoga for the mind.
And I like that.

 

Lastly, how many people really hate the phrase “I’m chillaxin”?

 

later gators,

 

~m