Letter from Mr. & Mrs. Claus

Christmas, Love, daughters, Santa

 

 

This year will be the first Christmas Eve that two of my daughters will not be at home.
Sarah is working and Jenna will be Christmas ‘Eve’ing many miles away.
Tradition is meant to change, to break apart, so to speak.
It does so on a regular basis and sometimes we don’t even realize it.
When we do we usually don’t like it but ultimately we learn to adapt.
But it makes me think and go all 20/20 is hindsight on my own aging behind.
I start remembering things from many years ago.
Some great, some good, some not so good but still very funny.
Touching moments from the years sometimes bring me to my knees.
After all is said and done, I wouldn’t change a thing.
I like to think that Pamela and I have been a great Mr & Mrs Claus, a great team over the years.
(Truth be told it was mostly her, to be honest. The Mrs. has the spirit in her heart)
We have 3 girls that are slowly making their way in the world.
Reading ‘Twas the Night before Christmas’ has become a thing of the past.
With three girls over the age of 20 it would be weird if we did that these days. Or not. o_O
We might even be labeled  ‘child molesters’ for reading to our own girls or some godforsaken thing.

Huh?

That said, the holiday is upon us and me and the Mrs have some things to say to our
‘not so little anymore’ girls.
(And Santa slowly puts his boots up on the brown corduroy ottoman {covered with a kitty flannel blanket} and adjusts his glasses*)

To Sarah:

On your first Christmas Eve with Jonathan, we wish you both many magical things; softly falling snowflakes, the mysterious sound of sleigh bells in the middle of the night, hoofs on the roof,  a sky full of moonlight, a warm bed {with THE Ironcat} and more Yuletide love than your hearts can hold.
Me and the Mrs. hold you both deeply in our hearts. We hope you know that.
We wish for you both a first Christmas to remember forever.
Don’t worry. I got the ham . . .

 

To Jenna:

Although me and Mrs. Claus won’t see you on Christmas Eve you will be in our hearts.
We wish for you a year of discovery and the acquiring of more knowledge than you will ever be able to use.
We are so proud of what you have accomplished so far and know that you will
complete the complicated task ahead of you.
Our wishes for you and A-Aron are that the Christmas season finds something special for you both.
Some linguica cheese rolls on your trip up to 01501 on Christmas Day will vasty improve your team holiday ratings.
Also, please take some of Nanny’s Christmas Meatballs with you.
A small part of us will be there in NB.

To Hannah
:

Me and Mrs. Claus wish you a Christmas Eve of magic, wonderful music,
bowls of decedent chocolate and a toasty bedtime pillow filled with sugarplum dreams, a snowy ride on the Polar Express and
finally a breakfast plate full of warm French Toast Casserole smothered in maple syrup made by yours truly.
Our baby is now an amazing woman that wears a business suit.
And she is so awesome.
And we are so proud of you.

I’m taking off my glasses now and going to bed.
I will softly wake the sleeping Mrs and guide her upstairs.
Know that we both want all three of you to understand that the Christmas Season is not about stuff but
about love, family, giving, sharing, friends and a love that you give back to yourself every year.
Remember that you will always have a place to call home wherever you are in your life.
That ‘home’ is here in our heart, here in the HOUSE that all three of YOU built.
Me and the Mrs. can’t give you more than that.

To our 3 precious girls . . .
We love you all.
Sleep in the gently falling snowflakes  . . .
Merry Christmas.

Mr. and Mrs. Claus

Thankful

thanksgiving, love, family, turkey, football

 

I am thankful for:

Family;
Pamela, Sarah, Jenna, Hannah, Jonathan and Aaron,
Hedy and George,
my sister Maureen, Billy, Caitlin and Ryan.
Love
Friends (too numerous to mention here. I am blessed)
Music
Faith
Great food (turkey, cheeseburgers, crockpot, BBQ, steak, anything that swims, chicken, pork roast, and on and on)
Blue skies
Poetry
Cigars
Pipe tobacco
Rain
Picasso
Dali
Hopper
Miles, Coltrane, Parker, Sample, Ray Charles, Leon Russell, Steely Dan, Michael McDonald, Marc Jordan, Steve Khan, Tom Scott, Take 6
Chick Corea, Bill Evans, Chopin, Brubeck, Oscar Peterson, Joplin and on and on
NH, and mountains, maple syrup and Zeb’s
Australia, snags, pull-a-parts, meatpies, Bundy, the Southern Cross, grilled venison in Stick’s Mancave, chinese croc, Pavlova
Didgeridoos and bullwhistles
Moe, Mark, Tash, Stick, Stella, Max, Issac, Will, Kel, Ant, Zoe, Mel, Steve, Caleb, Lucas, Taylor, Jack and all our Aussie family
the Pats, Red Sox, Bruins, Celtics and the NE Revolution
Harrison’s Roast Beef
Wright’s Chicken Farm
Ronnie’s on a sunny summer day
The College of the Holy Cross
Assumption College
Bryant University
Everyday that I am alive
my own music and the knowledge that it came from somewhere high above
Sleep
Church on Sunday and another chance to do good
every day that I wake up
my Guardian Angel (she’s always busy)
My list could/should go on but I will stop here.
Please leave me one thing that you are thankful for.
That would be nice.
Happy Thanksgiving to all.
I will be away from FB for the next few days because I will be cooking.
Alot.
Much peace to all.
~m

Boston Strong

anguish, Boston, Marathon

When I got into Boston on Monday morning I took a different route walking to work.
I usually slip out the ass end of Back bay station and walk through the alleys and quiet streets to Park Square
but today was Marathon Monday and a great day to walk through Copley Square on my way to work.
The sun was shining, the temps were comfortable and runners were everywhere running for buses to take them to
the Marathon starting line in Hopkinton.
Walking through Copley I saw hundreds of palettes of spring water,
King’s Hawaiian Sweet rolls, pretzels, Smart Food, Vitamin Water and on and on.
People working in the many tents along Boylston Street were obviously happy to be there as they went about their preparations.
There was a palpable lilt in the air that could not be denied.
We all hate Mondays but Marathon Monday in Boston is pretty damn cool for many damn reasons.
I also remember thinking how awful it would be were something catastrophic to happen.

 

At 2:55PM, a woman came in for some rolling tobacco and asked if I’d heard the ‘bangs’.
She was wondering if they were firing cannons for Patriots Day.
I told her I hadn’t heard a thing.
I was alone in the store and went to Google after she left.
I typed in: Boston Marathon 2013 /Bombs
I came up with 2 results.
Links to a few runners’ websites that simply said;
“unconfirmed reports of two explosions at the finish line of the Boston Marathon.”
The links would not open

Bullshit, I thought.
Not here.
Not today.
Not in Boston.

10 minutes later the city was cracked open like an over ripe pomegranate.
Sirens, police cars, ambulances too many to count,
unmarked cars with blue flashing lights and a feeling of dread as I watched thousands of people dripping their way towards South Station.
Most were crying; some were simply distant with no facial expression at all.
You know the rest of the story; probably more so than CNN, a current font of reporting mediocrity.

I took a walk around 4PM yesterday and went down to the corner of Berkeley and Boylston Street.
National Guard would not let you go any further as everything was blockaded.
It was a big crime scene.
I looked down at a usually frantic Copley Square that now seemed post-apocalyptic, empty and dreadfully silent. My heart broke just a bit as more reality drained into my psyche.
It was not unlike a scene from ‘Walking Dead’ or ‘I am Legend’.
The word ‘nothing’ came to mind.
I watched paper and debris flying through the air looking to get out of the dead space that was Copely.

That’s how my eyes saw it and my brain interpreted it.
It made no logical sense to me.
Still doesn’t.

On my way back to Park Square I noticed the omnipresent media camped out at the corner of Arlington and Boylston. It seemed to me to be a media freak show/ circus with bright lights and cameras going while reporting half myths and hearsay from who the fuck knows.
Homeless people were probably contributing their stories and ideas. (they may have been closer to the truth than CNN, ffs)

I am a Bostonian and I love this city. (Even though I live in the burbs)
I went to school here and currently work here and no one will ever take away the fact that this place was built on guts, strength, love, and a work ethic like no other place in the world.
This IS my backyard.
Sadly, the landscape has changed, for now . . .
Know that We are Boston.
We are Many.
And We are Pissed.
But I have a good feeling that many beautiful flowers will blossom this same time next year.
Because that’s how we roll . . .

~m

ps. Photo courtesy of John TLumacki, Boston Globe

Shamrocks

It is on this day that I think about my Mom and Dad.
Saint Patrick’s Day would find my mother in the kitchen cooking her corned beef and cabbage.
And God help you if you didn’t stop by for a plate and a pint.
I miss them both dearly on this day but know in my heart they are here with me as I serve my own
a dish they both dearly loved.
Danny Boy is for me Mum.
Miss you, Ginny.
Blessed be Ireland and all those from County Cork. [my roots]
~m

Lucky

lucky, family, love, Christmas, life

 

If you’re lucky enough, there’s a person in your life that makes everything easier;
they hurt when you hurt, they cry when you cry, they laugh when you laugh.
If you’re lucky enough, there’s a person whose soul sees what you see,
understands, accepts and agrees to the crazy thoughts and ideas that you hold dear and true.
Even though you’re still totally nuts0.

If you’re lucky enough,
there’s a person in your life that you just can’t live without because they make you see
the good and bad that resides in your heart changing you for the better, always for the better.
If you’re lucky enough, there’s a person in your life that never gives up on you,
never gives up on your dreams and never stops loving you no matter how much you screw up.
And I screw up on a daily basis.

And finally, if you’re really lucky enough, there’s a person in your life that never let’s you down,
is always there when you need a hug and never let’s you forget that you are so loved,
no matter how much of a creative screwball you really are.
I am one of the lucky ones.
Jingle my bells.
I think . . .
~m

29+

love, Pamela

 

It was 29+ years ago that I married my best friend.
29 years ago that my world changed because I found something that
some never do, someone that understood me sometimes better than myself,
someone who has never let me down and someone who has made this thing called life worth living.
I have 29,000+ reasons for loving her with more reasons by the day.
29+ years ago I didn’t think I could ever love her more.
I love it when I’m wrong.
This Winnie the Pooh quote sums ‘us’ up to a T:
“If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day so I never have to live without you.”
There’s a quiet forest that lives in my heart.
If you look long and hard enough you will find an oak tree that is older than any other tree in the forest.
If you look closely you will see a heart.
Inside the heart is inscribed: “I love Pamela Chesna
It was written before we ever met. I know this much to be true.
And to this day that oak tree continues to grow . . .
Happy 29+, Pamel
Always . . .

~m

When tomorrow comes

love, family, Alzheimer's Disease, memory

 

I read a post on Facebook from a ‘friend’ tonight.
I have no idea if he wrote it or found it on the interwebz.
That said, it moved me to tears reminding me of my Mom and Dad’s struggle with Alzheimer’s.
It’s called ‘When Tomorrow Starts Without Me’ and is a simply beautiful epitaph and message of hope that should be shared.
I’m missing my Mom and Dad tonight the way they used to be . . .  more than usual.
I’m over remembering the bad stuff.
Moving on.
Please share this . . .
Thank you, JohnD for posting!

UPDATE 8.6
attributed to David M Romano


When tomorrow starts without me
And I’m not there to see;
If the sun should rise and find your eyes
All filled with tears for me.
I wish so much you wouldn’t cry
The way you did today;
While thinking of the many things
We didn’t get to say.

I know how much you love me
As much as I love you;
And each time that you think of me,
I know you’ll miss me too.
But when tomorrow starts without me
Please try to understand,
That an angel came and called my name
And took me by the hand.

She said my place was ready
In heaven far above;
And that I’d have to leave behind,
All those I dearly love.
But as I turned to walk away,
A tear fell from my eye;
For all my life, I’d always thought
I didn’t want to die.

I had so much to live for,
So much yet to do;
It seemed almost impossible,
That I was leaving you.
I thought of all the yesterdays,
The good ones and the bad;
I thought of all the love we shared,
And all the fun we had.


If I could relive yesterday
Just even for awhile,
I’d say goodbye and kiss you
And maybe see you smile.
But then I fully realized
That this could never be;
For emptiness and memories
Would take the place of me.

And when I thought of worldly things
I might miss come tomorrow;
I thought of you, and when I did,
My heart was filled with sorrow.
But when I walked through heaven’s gates
I felt so much at home;
When God looked down and smiled at me
From His great golden throne.

He said, “This is eternity
And all I’ve promised you;
Today your life on earth is past,
But here it all starts anew.”
“I promise no tomorrow,
But today will always last;
And since each day’s the same day,
There’s no longing for the past.”
“But you have been so faithful,
So trusting and so true;
Though at times you did do things,
You knew you shouldn’t do.”
“But you have been forgiven
And now at last you’re free;
So won’t you take my hand
And share my life with me?”

So when tomorrow starts without me,
Don’t think we’re far apart
For every time you think of me,
I’m right here in your heart.


The God Factor

God, questions, Jesus Christ, chance, music, words, life

As my life zips by at warp speed I barely see the signposts ahead, the lives dripping by, the rain that falls or the
multiple times that particular moments  grab me by the stones and scream ‘LISTEN!’.
There is an incessant drone that accompanies the soundtrack of my life.
Like any constant, the human condition adapts and moves on, uninterrupted and undisturbed.
The body is made in a way that it simply adapts and adjusts.

Example: Where did I put my glasses?
Answer: They are up on the top of your head.

If we didn’t have this ability, wearing clothes would drive us to insanity.
I work in a cigar store and hear on a daily basis,
“This store smells wonderful! It reminds of my Dad/Grandfather/Uncle.”
Truth be told, I can’t smell it.
I can be away for weeks from the store and upon my return?
Nothing.
No smell, no recognition.
I am for the most part physiologically incapable of recognizing it.
But I could walk into another cigar store and the smell grabs and smacks me in the face like the cigar smoking bitch that I am . . .
(in a good way, I love tobacco).
My point is that as we live our lives we sometimes build up an almost unintentional immunity to things that mean the most to us.
This includes people, places, things, moments, songs, food, smells, feelings, emotions and more.
It’s physiological and biological as well.
It’s how we are hard-wired.
We are bombarded by so much media that much of what we see consists of perpetuated and virtual cybershit.
Don’t know about you but seeing that on a daily basis puts me on a virtual merry-go-round.
But now and then something throws me off the ride, in a major way.

My 2011 Ford Escape has one hell of an amazing sound system.
It is equipped with Microsoft Sync, Sirius Radio, a great CD player and a USB port for the 4,000+ songs on my Ipod Classic. (and it gets close to 32 miles/gallon highway)
Not sure but judging from the sound I think the speaker system may be made by Bose.
At any rate this thing kicks some serious sonic ass.
It is AMAZING.
(and it has an awesome Australian Southern Cross vanity plate to boot)
I was driving into Boston last Sunday morning and had my Ipod set to ‘Shuffle’ (random songs).
I can fast forward or rewind using the controls on my steering wheel.
As I made my way onto the Mass Pike THIS song came on.
I’ve listened to Marc Jordan for years but never listened to this song as I did this particular Sunday.
It’s meaning was crystal clear as to what and who the song was about.
The next song was THIS from Michael Sembello (aka, Maniac from ‘FlashDance’ fame)
Although I’d listened to this album years ago, I never heard the actual words.
What came to me towards the end of the song was that someone is trying to get in touch with me.
Someone is trying like hell to make me listen.
Someone is going out of their way to get me to wake the hell up in terms of my life.
If you feel like doing some homework, listen to these two songs.
Who do YOU think they are about?
Know that I am listening and know that in my heart the songs are both about the same Man.
Is He Superman?
It’s all about interpretation.
I’m thinking I understand and it’s always been all about Superman . . .

~m

Best part of my life

I have never been shy about professing the love I have for my wife.
Over the years she has been my greatest advocate, critic and friend in a way that defies the actual meaning of love.
Since I ceased writing music (for now) I listen daily and in a deeper way than ever before.
Now and again a song comes to me via chance/serendipity and explains to me why God sent this gentle and beautiful soul my way.
Yes, I am sappy but I couldn’t care less what people think.
I love this woman and am not afraid to tell the world every chance I get.
I heard this song for the first time tonight and was close to tears on the train home.
It hit me like a ton of bricks.
It is a deep version of Pamela and me in so very many ways.
Those that are close to us will possibly understand.
If you haven’t listened to Marc Jordan or even heard of him, check this song out.
I’ve listened to him for well over 20 years. He is quite simply awesome.
This song is not unlike a personal anthem to a woman that has stuck by me through thick and thin for almost 29 years.
She is absolutely the ‘best part of my life’ . . .
[lyrics are below. took me the better part of 1.5 hours to transcribe them as they are nowhere on the web]
(as with most of my posted videos, headphones are essential)
lyp . . .

 

 

I walked on all these streets in victory and defeat
gathering the fragments before the sky turned grey
but always in my mind, you’re with me all the time
and every while now Lord I take . . .
I feel you like the rain . . .
And from this windowpane the world feels like a dream
the lights shine on these streets where you and I have been
sometimes I think I see . . .  you looking back at me
‘cause loving you has been a story without end
a river running through,  my heart and back again
A place where I was safe,  when the world felt like a knife
loving you has been the best part of my life

Your arms gave me faith, to reach out for the light
and although I was lost sometimes I ran to you each night
and if these wounds could speak they’d cry your name out loud
and if my heart had wings I’d fly beyond the clouds
I’d carry you away beyond this maddening crowd
‘cause loving you has been a story without end
a river running through,  my life and back again
a place where I was safe, when the world felt like a knife
loving you has been the best part of my life

From this windowpane the world seems like a dream
the lights shine on these streets where you and I have been
sometimes I think I see you looking back at me
to a place where I was safe when the world felt like a knife
loving you has been the best part of my life . . .

 

~m