Smoke and Mirrors

In a perfect world . . .

Month: November 2012

Kiss the Bride

I realized a short time ago that my life has changed dramatically in the past five to ten years.
I’ve changed as well.
I’m more grey (and I’ve earned every single one), still trying to lose some baby fat,
no longer gigging for a living or playing much music for that matter which is a bit sad.
I still tinker away at some Scott Joplin rags that I always wanted to play but my thoughts these days always turn back to writing.
The Alzheimer drama of years ago will remain embedded in my soul but my life is following a new set of coordinates these days.
I have much to look forward to in my life;
My firstborn is getting married in less than a year,
I have a future son-in-law that is a kindred spirit,
and I have thoughts and dreams of grandchildren on a daily/nightly basis.
It’s time for my blog to change and start to chronicle all the wonderful things that have transpired.
It was one year ago tomorrow that Jonathan (Sarah’s fiancé) took me to lunch at Sam Lagrassa’s in Boston.
We had a very nice lunch and enough time to walk around Downtown Crossing for a bit before I had to go back to work.
As we were walking . . .

Jon: I have something I wanted to ask you.
Me: Okay. What’s up? [I knew it was coming]
Jon: I want to marry Sarah and I’m asking for your blessing, and Pam’s.
Me: *stopping to shake his hand*
You have it.
(what I said in my head was “you had my blessing a year ago.”)

He called Pamela at work and got the same response.
Who asks for an approval of marriage these days?
The guy that’s marrying my daughter, that’s who.
My heart was very happy that day knowing that my daughter had found her true love.
Maybe love found her, I don’t know.
But I am now slated to be a ‘Father of the Bride’.
And I’ve been told that I can’t cry when I walk her down the aisle.
We have a problem.
I’ve also learned that eggplant is a colour as well as a vegetable.
God help me.
Wedding dresses and anything associated with them, eludes me right now.
I am a guy.
All I want is some really cool Cole Haan shoes.
And a nice grey flannel suit.
Maybe some cool socks.
And I am good.

to be continued . . .  {promise}


*and as far as growing older, I now use a 14 size font when I write!


thanksgiving, blessed, turkey, football, family

I have a 20+ pound turkey thawing in the fridge,
5lbs. of potatoes waiting to be cooked and mashed,
4lbs. of squash patiently waiting for some sweet spices and butter,
2lbs of turnip, Yams for a slamming Sweet potato casserole,
bread and cornbread stuffing to be made, fresh cranberries crying for sugar
and a hungry family that will be with me this Thursday afternoon to eat, drink and be merry.
Pamela is making Pecan, Apple and Chocolate Cream pies tomorrow morning.
I have an amazing HD TV to watch the Pats and the Jets play on Thursday night.
All is going as planned and I suddenly realize I am really blessed.
Almost severely blessed.
I will be cooking for most of the day tomorrow making this place where we live smell like home for my daughters, my wife, my neighbors.
With temps in the 50’s I will definitely have my kitchen door wide open.
I have so much but also know that some have so very little.
Thanksgiving has never been a holiday that I have ever taken for granted because I know that can change in a heartbeat.
With all that in mind, I wish the same blessings for all of you that are reading this.
Whether you are near or far, I wish you the peace of a beautiful holiday.
Somewhere amidst the chaos of a Thanksgiving dinner table,
I pray you find warmth, solace, laughter and love from all things that surround you.
To you, my friends.
But beware the tryptophan . . .


At the corner of Hope & Bleeker

hope, life, love, future

Hope is not the closing of your eyes to the difficulty,
the risk or the failure.
It is a trust that ~
if I fail now ~
I shall not fail forever; and if I am hurt,
I shall be healed.

It is a trust that life is good,
love is powerful,
and the future is full of promise.

This quote is ‘anonymous’ but seems to come straight from my heart to souls of my three daughters.
It was quite simply perfect for this time in their lives.
I always tell them to never give up, never quit and never ever stop dreaming.
I need to stress the importance and ultimate need of hope.
What would life be without it?
Find me @ #1 Bleeker Street.




This isn’t the first time that I’ve posted this video/song and most certainly won’t be the last.
Although it was written in the early 70’s it is timeless and apropos for this most solemn of holidays.
It is a powerful statement regarding  American soldiers and the things that they carried.
We owe so much to these complete strangers that guard all of us 24/7, 365 days a year.
Thank you just doesn’t seem to be quite enough.
In the summer of 1970, I was 11 years old.
I had two things on my mind: baseball and girls.
There’s a friend of mine that’s a bit older.
He was in Vietnam fighting a war and hoping to see the light of day.
Far as I know he never asked anyone for a ‘thanks’ for what he did.
It was what it was.

He arrived home in ’72 and was for all intents and purposes shunned by 98% of the American public.
He was no longer a boy that left to help but a changed soldier trying to immerse himself in a way of life he no longer understood.
I asked him one day about the smell of napalm thinking of Robert Duvall’s quote from Apocalypse Now,
“I love the smell of napalm in the morning.”

He looked at me and quite simply said, “It smells like death, bro.”
It was then that I realized just how disturbing the Duvall quote really was.

When you give up the life you know to serve your country, you deserve more than a thank you and a greeting card when you get home.
You deserve respect, compassion, understanding and anything else that this country can give you.
My thank and prayers go out today to all the men and women of our armed services.
Be strong, be safe and damn those torpedoes.
Closing with a link for my buddy.
He knows who he is . . . as do all the Patriots.


Extremely Louder and Incredibly Closer

blog, writing, life, Facebook

Once upon a time my blog was an essential part of my life.
I lived here almost 24/7.
God forbid I should get some godforsaken CSS error that screwed with my theme (not my theme!) or my plugins.
Life gets in the way.
Politics get in the way.
Facebook really gets in the way.
Twitter? Not so much.
I realized tonight that I have neglected a place that once meant so much to me.
I have for all intents and purposes abandoned a creative harbour that held stories, memories and many things I once held so dear.
Shoulda, woulda, coulda.

Like I need to tell you about last Tuesday night when I went to dinner with my wife for our 29th anniversary.
Anniversaries are supposed to be special and perfect, right?
We sat down and perused the menu when our waitress came by to say hi.
We ordered a few appetizers to start off.
Grape leaves & some hummus.

“Would you like something to drink before you order?” our waitress asked.

“Yes, please,” I said.

Pamela ordered an Almond Joy Martini and I ordered a Maker’s Mark Manhattan.
All was right with the world.

Our drinks arrived several minutes later. Perfect.

We didn’t even have time to toast when I spilled the entire Manhattan all over my crotch.
As the icy concoction slithered its way to my unsuspecting jewels and eventually to the crack of my ass, I felt the need for
a new pair of pants or at least a pair of Depends.
As my manhood rose up into my abdominal cavity to escape the chill, we laughed and laughed again.
You can’t make this stuff up.
They made me another Manhattan (in a sippy cup jk) and all was right with the world.
Although I did squirm and make funny faces as I ate my dinner.
Will we remember our 29th anniversary?
You can take that to the bank.

I guess the bottom line is that I’ve given up my energy to Facebook and other URL’s lately.
And while I love talking to friends it just isn’t taking care of my writing mojo.
Writers write stories and rarely do Facebook.
Change is in the wind.
“to thine own self be true”
And I am long overdue.
Let’s roll . . .



love, Pamela


It was 29+ years ago that I married my best friend.
29 years ago that my world changed because I found something that
some never do, someone that understood me sometimes better than myself,
someone who has never let me down and someone who has made this thing called life worth living.
I have 29,000+ reasons for loving her with more reasons by the day.
29+ years ago I didn’t think I could ever love her more.
I love it when I’m wrong.
This Winnie the Pooh quote sums ‘us’ up to a T:
“If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day so I never have to live without you.”
There’s a quiet forest that lives in my heart.
If you look long and hard enough you will find an oak tree that is older than any other tree in the forest.
If you look closely you will see a heart.
Inside the heart is inscribed: “I love Pamela Chesna
It was written before we ever met. I know this much to be true.
And to this day that oak tree continues to grow . . .
Happy 29+, Pamel
Always . . .


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