Smoke and Mirrors

In a perfect world . . .

you and me


As life chugs steadily along it never ceases to amaze me
how many small pieces of our lives get shoved away like so many broken summer fans,
once treasured baseball cards and small gifts and such that meant so much at the time of the giving.
From the books we once started and never finished, to the phone calls we were supposed to make but never did,
to all the relationships we took for granted,
we get caught up with life; be it day to day, night by night, or dawn to sunset.
We are all guilty of this innocent abandonment of connection with the things we once considered ‘golden’.
What amazes me is that this purely human phenomenon  happens without our consent or recognition.
I become aware of it when and old friend calls me out of the blue or I hear a particular old song on the radio.
My mind is jarred and my brain gets pickled in a way that makes me realize that I have all but forgotten ‘the old me’.

So, here I am looking at a new beginning of sorts with the love of my life.
We will be picking up from where we left port so many oceans ago.
Our rare romantic dinners were filled with conversations about our three girls, their dreams,
wishes and ultimately our plans to try like hell to help them get there.
Those numerous transient conversations were never about us,
never about Michael and Pamela and how ‘they’ were doing.
I like to think that we were confident enough to know that nothing was being lost in talking about the girls.

I loved her.

She loved me.

It was an unspoken thing.

And I bought dinner. (always)

I don’t say all this in a dark and stormy ‘my-daughters-took-my-wife-away-from-me’ kind of way.
Life happens.
Children are born.
And more children are born.
Priorities are established and life continues on . . .  in a different way.
I guess what I’m really trying to say here is that I was blessed to be married to a woman
that could see the same pictures of life as me.
That doesn’t happen to many people, hence the alarming divorce rate, perhaps.
Our priorities were exactly the same.
Maybe that’s why my Pamela is still the best friend I could ever hope for.
I may even go so far as to say that she still ‘melts my butter’ and truth be told she heals the tattered soul in me.
Although she doesn’t even know it.
That is the beauty of ‘her’.
She just doesn’t know, never has, never will.
I want her to run away with me very soon because I want to tell her how much I have missed ‘us‘.
I think we have succeeded in raising three incredibly awesome daughters.
But now it’s time for M&P.
Destiny is a crazyass thing and what’s done is done and I pray we‘ve done right.
But maybe now is the beginning of the best part of our lives.
As long as I have my true companion, I think I’m gonna be alright.
Actually, I know I’m going to be alright. . .


  1. Wow! M & P, you truly have something rare! The best part is you know it and most of all, appreciate it! Love you both……and those awesome daughters of yours, too! Rock On! <3

    We got a thing and it’s called?

  2. It is all true my brother. As the last gets ready to fly the nest to college you are getting ready to follow a new path. Some might say a selfish path but it is a path of renewal of two of the most amazing people I have meet, and your three daughter are a credit and joy to both you and Pam and everyone who meets them. Enjoy the next phase of your life with Pam. It will be special and most enjoyable.

    My twin brother from a different mother, I thank you for your thoughts and love.
    I will definitely enjoy the next phase of our lives.
    It would be nice just to get into the thunderbox anytime I want . . .

  3. *us* was always there you know.
    They were a little obscured by life, but if you’d had the time to look, you would have found them waiting patiently.
    You and Pam have never lost sight of the fact that your children *are* because of the love you feel for each other.
    Both of you have been prepared to wait until *us* could once again shine the way they did when there was *only* us because you’re good parents and it’s just what good parents do.
    As difficult as it is to see the products of our love leave, there are some fabulous benefits my friend, and only now are you starting to see that.
    I often say we give our children life, we don’t give them ours, and we don’t, but we do let them borrow *us* for a little while.

    You always touch on things that really matter in my posts.
    As usual, you just ‘get’ this post.
    *Us* will be shining brightly in just a little bit . . .

  4. After all these years,you still “Like ” me and I still “Like” you.That is really cool. :love:
    We have been very busy doing what parents do. Early on, it was a very physical kind of busy and now it’s shifted to more of a “mental “kind of busy.We may not be tying shoes and such anymore but trust me ,the parenting hasn’t gone away.
    That being said, we will now have a new routine to get used to and maybe we can resume “dating ” again. It’s fun to do things and I really want to see “the Blue Man ” group someday.
    But first, I need to clean this house.

    Come October 1st, this place will be a ghosttown . . .
    Maybe that’s not so bad. More backrubs for you.
    Go clean.

  5. Three words…..

    You guys rock !!!

    Tanks, Deb!
    I think so too!

  6. Beautiful – as always!!! With tears in my eyes – you have a very special gift – very rare, indeed!!!

    thank you, LB
    A gift?
    I’m blessed in many ways . . .
    Take care,

  7. awwwww, how to make a girl cry mate! Just awesome you two are :)

    Tanks, Tash.
    I think you kinda understand this post, huh?

  8. You are killing me! I hope one day I can find someone that feels this way about me and isn’t afraid to put it in writing. Maybe you guys will get back to those awesome Bermuda beaches! You deserve it!

    Bermuda will be waiting, Carn. 😉
    Thanks for the comment and tell B to just start writing you some love letters!
    I know he can . . . and he will~

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