Linear Beercan Language

A guy comes into the store today and says,
“I want 4 packs of American Spirit Yellow.”
We ring him up, take his money and say, “Would you like a bag?”
He says, “No thank you, I have gloves.”
I have gloves?
More like you have a frozen mush of a cerebellum.
Jesus Krispies.
It must be the cold here in New England, huh? (7 degrees)
That would be like ordering at a drive-thru Burger King
and telling them, “I want to eat it here though, thanks.”
A definite WTF moment.
Damn, I encounter far too many these days.
Maybe it’s me.


  • ummm…. reminds me of a Fellini film…

    I was thinking David Lynch but yeah . . .

  • They walk among us ~m, I keep telling you that.
    Now all we need to do is keep them out of the shop I guess???

    Will never be able to do that.
    Had a good one today, actually.
    I was putting some empty cigar boxes outside when this guy came running up to me.
    He was obviously in a hurry and asked, “Hey, man, where can I get a bank check?!?”
    I looked at him, paused and said, “I don’t know . . . a bank?”
    He says, “Yeah. Thanks!” and ran off.
    I can’t make this shit up.

  • They are everywhere!
    Temperature right now is ZERO !
    Even more frozen brains will be cigar shopping today.

    [read my reply to Maureen]

  • Wow, I didn’t know the cold affected people that way!. But it’s below freezing here this morning, and I just don’t understand that at all.

    *you’re making my point, kiddo . . . 8-)

  • Trust me charge those morons double.
    They will never Know. I do and have never been caught out, even when I piss myself laughing before they leave the shop.

    We call it the AAT surcharge: aggravating asshole tax
    Lord knows, they richly deserve it.

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