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It is during this time of the year that I generally go into an emotional cocoon;
my own kind of hibernation and self preservation mode.
December 1st until January 2nd, my internal sensors (censors) go into a Lockdown setting.
Life is hectic, loud and screaming with white and pink noise.
I need a celestial graphic EQ (equalizer) to take out the nasty sonic peaks and hisses of the daily grind.
Ah, were it that easy.
Maybe there’s an app on the Iphone for that. 
The only place that I can find some silent respite is when I fall asleep.
But sometimes even sleep doesn’t work.
The other night (this just came to me now) I was dreaming that I was standing in the middle of some godforsaken superhighway with cars and trucks whizzing by me at what seemed to be light-year speeds.
I could feel wind on my face but the cars and 18-wheelers were just horizontal blurs of colour.
I was frozen, frightened and couldn’t move without getting reduced to a platter of road kill.
I did finally wake up at 3:03AM.
My skin was clammy and I was thirsty.
I went downstairs and got a glass of water and back up to bed where I began tossing and turning my nocturnal thoughts like a mad chef tosses a freshly ordered Caesar Salad.
At 5AM I got up and made coffee.
The act of trying to sleep was maddening.
This dream was symbolic for me and the perfect allegory of my life.
It also made me think of a story someone once told me.
It could have been told to me by my mother – but like my dream’s unknown ending, I just can’t remember.
I do remember the story though.
Its author is unknown so I’ve taken the liberty of changing the POV.
This story inspires me and brings hope to the heart because a worldly truth is that we are all in this thing together.
I was at the end of my rope. Seeing no way out I dropped to my knees in prayer.
“Lord, I can’t go on,” I said, “I have too heavy a cross to bear.”
The Lord replied, “My child, if you can’t bear its weight, just place your cross inside this room. Then open another door and pick up any cross you wish.”
I was filled with relief.
“Thank you, Lord,” I sighed, and did as I was told.
As I looked around the room I saw many crosses, some so large the tops were not visible.
Then I spotted a tiny cross leaning against a far wall.
“I’d like that one, Lord,” I whispered.
The Lord replied, “My son, that’s the cross you just brought in.”
During this holiday season, it is my hope and prayer that the burdens you carry in your hearts today will seem lighter and somehow more distant tomorrow.
Pax . . .
*the picture I used for this post was taken by Amanda Lucier.
Click here to learn more about this amazing photojournalist and the story behind the photo.
I can relate to this whole piece. Your dream, your tale… it is one and yet is is divided…
The paradox of introspect… the shadow cast by our own mind.
The dream… one can analyze till the morning breaks the night… or perhaps heals…
Love the tale as well… made me look to my minds eye for the scene I have cast before…
Truly you are an angel M~
.-= enreal´s last blog ..bitter calm of winter =-.
I’ll give you 10 years to stop calling me an angel.
Thanks, Enreal.
This post came about from a conversation I had with Mr.Murder of Ravens.
Sadly, he’s still a slacker . . .
Tanks again, kiddo
~m
only 10… really?
???
.-= enreal´s last blog ..Alive =-.
it’s taken a few years of serious reflection and spending time inside my head, but the holidays don’t jack me up the way they used to… i’ve adopted something akin to NATO Observer Status, and it’s working well. i enjoy, i don’t stress.
good luck as you wrangle your holiday demons…
.-= daisyfae´s last blog ..Sending Children to Therapy, Part 278 =-.
NATO Observer Status.
Hmmm . . .
Can you send me some paperwork?
Have a wonderful holiday, babe
Thanks for dropping by
~m
Anything that inspires you, and brings hope to your heart needs to be remembered.
All burdens we carry seem lighter with the passing of time, plus I find they seem to be less wearisome when the sun rises.
This little ‘tome’ has always inspired me.
As far as things being lighter in the morning?
They were back in late July of last year . . .
Tanks, Moe
~m
At this time of year, I believe we realize all we have…the blessings! Even when things aren’t going so well, the sights and sounds of Christmas can brighten the spirit. May we all realize what’s really important…family, friends, being together with those special people. There can even be joy in remembering those who are no longer with us…remembering the Christmases (sp?) we spent together.
Time flies by so fast…there is no time to be a Grinch! Enjoy! Have fun!
Time does fly by fast.
I remember a Christmas in ’86 that I spent
at Hanneman Hospital (Sarah)
Seems like yesterday.
I just need the department stores to ease up on the Christmas music and play some Van Halen or something . . .
~m
amen friend, and to you as well
As always, nice to see you, KLC
Have an awesome Christmas!
Tanks for dropping by kiddo
~m
Well said! Like you, I often want to skip the entire month of December. Faith keeps us going despite our better judgment sometimes! Pax to you too!
.-= Sue (aka LupusRanting´s last blog ..You Better Not Cry =-.