Smoke and Mirrors

In a perfect world . . .

the silence of a letter

It’s not only the way it feels,
it’s the way it makes me feel . . .
a conditional freak of
my own mind,
my own doing,
my own flesh and
candy-apple red blood,
and a host that lives inside of me . . .

It grows asymmetrical outside my body,
the unwanted lichens of all that I can’t bear
It’s only when I look in the mirror;
I am sadly reminded that it’s still there . . .

Someday perhaps it will leave me,
that time just isn’t right now
I still ask when, Dear God in heaven, when?
And I shall curse forever the very day it found me,
this visible demon of my flesh
I gladly let the steam cover the bathroom mirror
and for the moment,
I can put the thing to rest


  1. We are who we are ~m…we need to try and love ourselves before anyone else can.
    Somewhere along the line, you must have thought much of yourself, because you have only to look around you to see what’s thought of you by others.
    What’s on the outside means little anyway.
    It’s the inside that mean much, much more.
    Your inside is unique, always remember that….

  2. I was thinking just today about how I KNOW I have had older family relatives (grandparents, aunts, uncles) who loved me and prayed for “me.” But I don’t know their hearts. It could very well be that the grandmother that I only remember seeing a few times was the one who “loved” me the most.

    btw, that’s a powerful picture. I’m so glad someone created it. I can tell, under the thorns, he has beautiful hands.
    .-= Lolly´s last blog ..Speaking of converting vests to sweaters… =-.

  3. Maybe you are carrying this because someone else cannot.
    Eventually it will be clear and you will feel better about the outside.
    I worry about the inside-stay strong.Don’t be so hard on yourself.

  4. I agree with Lolly; that’s a powerful image. Be well, Michael.
    .-= Deborah´s last blog ..Why I Won’t Pay $99+ for an eReader =-.

  5. Dearest M~ what we perceive and what is real is often the mind at war with the ego… what we perceive is often unnoticed by those important… I know not of your struggle, only that it is not in vain… Be well
    .-= Enreal´s last blog ..But for a moment =-.

  6. Just wanted to thank all of you for commenting on a post that’s just plain
    difficult to comment on.
    This one runs deep within me and those who are close to me know that.
    I appreciate all of your thoughts and kind words more than you will ever know.

  7. “I love you just the way you are” -Billy Joel

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