Smoke and Mirrors

In a perfect world . . .

And they flew

“Come to the edge.”
“We can’t, we are afraid.”

“Come to the edge.”
“We can’t, we will fall.”

“Come to the edge.”

And they came.
And He pushed them.

And they flew.

~G. Apollinaire

Graduation ’09 is done and dusted but the torrential rain of emotions put Pamela and I through the proverbial ringer.
As we both sat outside the other night mesmerized by the roaring firepit she quietly said,
“Things are changing again.”
When things change, a subtle discomfort settles in.
For as happy and proud as we were for Sarah, we also share her sense of trepidation, a subject not many people talk about.
But it’s there in every single family attending a graduation.
After the ceremony we had an old fashioned BBQ back at the house with burgers, hot dogs and salads galore.
There was laughter and music, beer and cigars, goodbyes and tears when roommates and friends had to leave.
Later that day, Pamela, myself and the girls went to move the remainder of Sarah’s belongings from her room and let her say goodbye to her college high atop Mt. Saint James.
As I waited by my truck for Sarah to come out of her dorm for the last time,
I looked around at the ivy-covered buildings that had occasionally surrounded me over the past 4 years.
My own sadness at saying goodbye leaving the comfort of this place surprised me.
Thank God for sunglasses.
It was quiet in the car on the way home with everyone lost in their own thoughts.
I thought about a large Monarch butterfly I’d seen in the air that morning as I listened to the list of graduates being read.
It flew gracefully down towards the moving sea of black mortarboards below disappearing amidst the caps and gowns; almost like it was going home.
For Sarah, another class has already started as of tonight.
She must want stronger wings . . .


  1. my eldest flew last march… working through the babysteps toward what’s next. it does change things. subtle, but huge.

    congratulations to all – and the best of luck with what’s next!

    That’s the question: what is next?
    Thanks so much, DF

    daisyfae’s last blog post..Pecked off…

  2. Congratulations to your daughter!

    Thanks, Mrs.V!

    Mrs. V’s last blog post..Look What Followed Me Home

  3. Change is inevitable when you have children.
    It makes no difference how old they are, there is always change.
    As unsettling as it can be at times, my only advice is to get used to it.
    Even at 35, 33, 31, 23 and 20, there is always something changing for one of ours, be it big or small.
    Having said that, whilst I’ve become accustomed to it, that’s not to say I enjoy it.
    Such is the life of a parent my friends….but {{{hugs}}} anyway….

    You just keep on understanding . . .

    anonymum’s last blog post..Rolling, rolling, rolling

  4. At least you had the graduation to mark the accomplishment. Mine never finished, despite numerous abortive attempts. My consolation was he kept his head about him and did end up well employed in computers and web development.

    We all have our talents.
    Some are taught through college while some are taught via lifeline.
    That he kept his head about him says much.
    Prayers, PT going out to you and your pup . . .

    PiedType’s last blog post..Annie settling in beautifully

  5. You got me…….I was going to say I got teary-eyed, but seriously I was crying like a baby. The memories of sitting in Cazenovia, NY, outside the dorm, waiting for Shannon on that last day…..I cried then, too. It was hard to leave the campus we had traveled to so many times, as a family. I still get choked up when I think of the times we spent there. Checking out new things, during every visit, in the small village of Caz! It was a great time of my life and I hope hers, too. Thanks for this… helps to remind me that we all go thru it. You and Pam will get thru it…..till the next graduation happens. We give them our hearts forever and wings to fly!!!
    Fly, Sarah, Fly!!!

    And she flew!!!!
    I knew you’d understand this one . . .

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