Smoke and Mirrors

In a perfect world . . .

Month: May 2009 (page 1 of 2)

Dark, like me

Say hello to ‘Sebastian’s Voodoo’ . . .

And they flew

“Come to the edge.”
“We can’t, we are afraid.”

“Come to the edge.”
“We can’t, we will fall.”

“Come to the edge.”

And they came.
And He pushed them.

And they flew.

~G. Apollinaire

Graduation ’09 is done and dusted but the torrential rain of emotions put Pamela and I through the proverbial ringer.
As we both sat outside the other night mesmerized by the roaring firepit she quietly said,
“Things are changing again.”
When things change, a subtle discomfort settles in.
For as happy and proud as we were for Sarah, we also share her sense of trepidation, a subject not many people talk about.
But it’s there in every single family attending a graduation.
After the ceremony we had an old fashioned BBQ back at the house with burgers, hot dogs and salads galore.
There was laughter and music, beer and cigars, goodbyes and tears when roommates and friends had to leave.
Later that day, Pamela, myself and the girls went to move the remainder of Sarah’s belongings from her room and let her say goodbye to her college high atop Mt. Saint James.
As I waited by my truck for Sarah to come out of her dorm for the last time,
I looked around at the ivy-covered buildings that had occasionally surrounded me over the past 4 years.
My own sadness at saying goodbye leaving the comfort of this place surprised me.
Thank God for sunglasses.
It was quiet in the car on the way home with everyone lost in their own thoughts.
I thought about a large Monarch butterfly I’d seen in the air that morning as I listened to the list of graduates being read.
It flew gracefully down towards the moving sea of black mortarboards below disappearing amidst the caps and gowns; almost like it was going home.
For Sarah, another class has already started as of tonight.
She must want stronger wings . . .

Simple thoughts

Moving the World

I will be absent from the blog until sometime next week due to our graduating college student.
It was only 4 short years ago that I posted THIS.
Where did the time go?
That said, Pamela and I are so damn proud of her we can’t tell you.
I wrote a very personal note to her that won’t make it here, sorry to say.
I wanted to post it but decided it was best left in the hands of the person I originally wrote it for.
I shall return soon but wanted to, at the very least,
explain my sudden disappearance.
Hope everyone has a wonderful Memorial Day filled with hot dogs, cheeseburgers and much beer.
(and Cigars!)
Please remember to say a prayer for all those that gave of their lives so we could enjoy our freedom.
See all of you soon.
Congratulations, Sarah!


Fred Armisen can out-Barack, Barack.
I thought this was actually quite funny considering Obama is a bigger rock star
than the pretentious Bono of U2 will ever be.
Short clip but funny as all hell.
Yes, Obama is the quintessential King of Cool.
The jury is out as to whether that’s actually cool or not . . .
Hit me up a year from today.

Just thinking . . .

Any questions?

If you can

If you can start the day without caffeine;
If you can get going without pep pills;
If you can always be cheerful, ignoring aches and pains;
If you can resist complaining and boring people with your troubles;
If you can eat the same food every day and be grateful for it;
If you can understand when your loved ones are too busy to give you any time;
If you can forgive a friend’s lack of consideration;
If you can overlook it when those you love take it out on you when,
through no fault of your own, something goes wrong;
If you can take criticism and blame without resentment;
If you can ignore a friend’s limited education and never correct him;
If you can resist treating a rich friend better than a poor friend;
If you can face the world without lies and deceit;
If you can conquer tension without medical help;
If you can relax without liquor;
If you can sleep without the aid of drugs;
If you can honestly say that deep in your heart you have no prejudice
against creed or color, religion or politics; then, my friend, you are
almost as good as your dog.

12 more things my daughters have taught me

  • Crappy ringtones are unacceptable. Upload a favorite song for free at
    My current ringtone is the first 40 seconds of ‘We won’t get fooled again’ by The Who.
    ‘Panama’ by Van Halen let’s me know when Pamela is calling.
  • Even a 50 year-old guy can learn to use Word (T9) to text on a cell phone.
    Drives them crazy that I can text almost as fast as them now.
  • What life used to be like when I was 20 and how much fun I had.
  • To never give up. Ever.
    (who’s teaching who here?)
  • What phrases like ‘cover flow’ and ‘shake to shuffle’ mean. (Ipod terms)
  • How to upload a Wordle to my cell phone. (Pam and I have Zero for Zooz on our cells) (Zooz Wordle)
  • My day off is not for me to rest. It’s the day I cook one of them a favorite meal, ultimately receiving a load of laundry that needs to be done . . .  ahem, Sarah . . .
  • Silence is a legitimate answer (as is yup, nope, uh-huh and dunno)
  • Time is like a river . . .  to the sea
  • Life is not always fair.
  • College girlfriends can be incredibly vicious. And really nice. (all in the same day)
  • That I am truly blessed to have 3 (and 4) such incredible women in my life.
  • watch out guys, these girls are tigers.

booK of liarS

I close my eyes
trying to dream of something better than this
anything true, a slightly bruised honesty would do
Maybe it’s because nothing feels safe anymore

So I close my eyes
and dream of distant Norwegian lilies
of beautiful and colourful things, the slumbering truths of my past
Although nights of black rain are making it so hard to sleep

But I close my eyes
And dream of opening them to the tragedy of a bleeding truth;
that life is never quite what it appears to be
to these sad and sleepy eyes of mine
And that innocence can only be found caught between the teeth of angels . . .


She is the light of my life, my best friend in the whole, wide world and the mother
of 3 incredible daughters.
She is the heart of our home and the glue that makes everything stick.
I can’t imagine my life without her (the same goes for our daughters, for that matter)
She forever goes above and beyond the call of duty regarding our girls and that’s just one of the
thousands of reasons she’s so damn incredible.
When she reads this she will deny it 100%.
Yes, folks, she is humble as well.
I am fortunate enough in this life to be married to my best friend.
Happy Mother’s Day, Pamela.
Thank you from the bottom of my heart for every single thing you do for me and the girls.
I love you like crazy, green eyes.
As do our girls . . .

A Happy Mother’s Day to all!

Mom, I miss you as I do every year since you’ve been gone.
Last Wednesday afternoon’s visit was my present.
Hope you liked the flowers . . .


pps. Pamela is Mother of the Year!

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