Smoke and Mirrors

In a perfect world . . .

Month: February 2009 (page 1 of 2)


Denis Leary just kind of spoke my mind with this video.
The video and song are a bit old but are incredibly relevant even more so today.
My disillusionment with federal  and state government policies
have turned me into an asshole with a cause, I guess.
I can’t believe anymore in the total money-grubbing  douchebags that run this country.
As a citizen, I really want to quit.
But I can’t.
I am an asshole and I am damn proud of it.
Click on the picture above to see the classic ‘Leary’ video.
He smokes, drinks and swears and went to High School here in Worcester, Massachusetts.
He Rocks.

How tall was Bing Crosby?

I’ve had some very odd things happen in my life lately and it seemed not only appropriate but almost necessary to tell you folks about it.
Aren’t you glad you stopped by?

The picture below will tell you all you need to know about my commute into Boston this morning.
The train I was riding in was empty.
No people.
Just me.
It was empty for the first two stops.
Very strange.
Sitting alone on a moving train at 6AM on a weekday is not only odd but it’s really creepy in a ‘Rod Serling, Twilight Zone’ kind of way.
No human voices or announcements, just the cracking metal creaks, low scraping groans and the desperate sounds of a wheezing ventilation system filling the wee hours of a Thursday morning ride.
I made it to Boston, falling asleep somewhere after Framingham . . .

My mail slot has produced some definite weirdness over the past few weeks as well.
I got a bill from a geriatric/medical place for my mother, in care of me.
The bill originated from the assisted living place she left in 2000.
I’ve now received two bills and have made as many phone calls to the company.
The last several years of her life she had no dentures because she had lost every set we had made.
It got too damn expensive to make any more.
Guess what this bill was for?
You got it- a case of Crest toothpaste.
Shoot me.

Monday morning I woke up at 4:30AM and the first thought in my mind was,
“I wonder how tall Bing Crosby was?”
I kid you not.
You can’t make this kind of shit up.
Before you go to Google, he was 5′ 7″ tall.
Here I was thinking he was taller.
Whatever courses through my brain at that time of the morning should be sanitized and bottled.
I’m thinking if it were administered properly, it could be used to interrogate criminals.
Or not.
Just a thought.
Any weird stuff happen to you today?

Long Distance Birthday

Happy Birthday to our niece, Cait.
Though she’s too far away, she’s always in our hearts.
I’m thinking this video will at least get a smile out of her.
Happy Birthday, kiddo.
Watch your mailbox!
Uncle Michael (& Aunt Pamela)


Just so no one thinks I’ve gone off to join a monastery.
Saw this outrageous parody clip of U2 and had to share it.
Talk about laughing a bit too hard.
Will someone please check the microphone that the Edge is using?
Saw this via  Raincoaster.

Prayer for my friends

Healing Father,
so often my life is marred by anger and resentments.
I thank you today for the people who have stood by me in my pain.
I thank you for those who have heard, challenged, advised and loved me.
Their presence has given me hope and freedom.
I thank you, for you have let them carry me into the calm waters of your grace.

Just thinking about the many people in my life that truly matter.
A special reading in church this morning made me understand that as strong as
I think I am, I too, occasionally need to be carried along.
Thanks to all that have cared enough to let me know that.
You know who you are.
Keeping the faith for a bit longer . . .


I like the fact that the name ‘Hannah’ is a palindrome.
And I love the fact that my wife and I chose to call our youngest daughter Hannah.
I’m not sure why the palindrome catches my attention but it just does.
Strange, huh?
I stumbled upon a madass comedian named Demetri Martin.
He loves palindromes.
(check out his nasty little 224 word work below, it can be read the same way in either direction)
I think he’s probably nuts but I love this kind of stuff anyway.
God, I love her name.

Dammit I’m mad.
Evil is a deed as I live.
God, am I reviled? I rise, my bed on a sun, I melt.
To be not one man emanating is sad. I piss.
Alas, it is so late. Who stops to help?
Man, it is hot. I’m in it. I tell.
I am not a devil. I level “Mad Dog”.
Ah, say burning is, as a deified gulp,
In my halo of a mired rum tin.
I erase many men. Oh, to be man, a sin.
Is evil in a clam? In a trap?
No. It is open. On it I was stuck.
Rats peed on hope. Elsewhere dips a web.
Be still if I fill its ebb.
Ew, a spider… eh?
We sleep. Oh no!
Deep, stark cuts saw it in one position.
Part animal, can I live? Sin is a name.
Both, one… my names are in it.
Murder? I’m a fool.
A hymn I plug, deified as a sign in ruby ash,
A Goddam level I lived at.
On mail let it in. I’m it.
Oh, sit in ample hot spots. Oh wet!
A loss it is alas (sip). I’d assign it a name.
Name not one bottle minus an ode by me:
“Sir, I deliver. I’m a dog”
Evil is a deed as I live.
Dammit I’m mad.

I’m thinking this could be an entire class for MrsV . . .

Sexy Cupcakes

The above is what Google images gave me with ‘sexy cupcakes’ as a search word.
Jeez . . . I was thinking of something completely different.
With nipples.
Alright, there are two near and dear friends celebrating birthdays over the next few days and
I had to make mention of it here
(and move that hideous picture from my prior post further down the blog so as to prevent nightmares)

My dear friend Deg turns 50 tomorrow (2.18) and I must say he doesn’t look a day over 49.
(insert laugh track here)
Michael, I wish only good things for you on this momentous occasion and pray you will
see at least 50 more birthdays.
Lord knows you deserve even more than that.
You are and will always be one of the closest friends I have.
I am truly blessed.
Peace my brother and all of His blessings in the next year.

Secondly, and definitely not least, my new friend Mark (from Australia) who turns 39
(isn’t that right, Mark?)   :mrgreen:
on Thursday (2.19)
I talk with Mark almost every Saturday night when his wife (Moe) lets me.   :mrgreen:
Even she doesn’t want to give him up.
He makes me laugh to the point where I forget all the trivial shit happening in my life and for that I am truly grateful. Imagine talking to a bloke that’s alot funnier than Crocodile Dundee.
That’s Mark.
I shit you not.
I wish sunny skies for you buddy and an effortless trip over here to the states.
If you knew how much I’m looking forward to this July, you’d be a bit scared, buddy.
Please visit Moe and leave Mark a birthday comment.
He will undoubtedly reply.

The interesting thing about this post is that these two chaps will meet this July on Cape Cod.
It will probably be at Baxter’s in Hyannis where we’ll watch the sunset, drink some ice cold beer and eat some incredible lobster. (and drink some more beer, maybe smoke a nice Cuban cigar)
Sounds like heaven, right?
It will be just that.
Happy Birthday, Michael and Mark!
Have an awesome birthday, boys . . .


Silence is good for me right now.
Just stay with me.
Life goes on, as will I.
Promises . . .

My Crimson Valentine

Without you, there would be no me
my skies would fall and the crescent moon
would cry tears of blue crystal into a distant
and deep crimson horizon
my own personal dusk . . .

Without you and me
there would be no us
and I am too in love with ‘us’ to ever let go
For me, the phrase ‘without you’ will never be an option . . .
Love you, Pamela


It’s only in the darkest of times
that you ultimately find out who
your real friends are.

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