He forgets
alzheimer's disease, Angels, blues, dark, Family, God, Irish, Life, Love, Memoir, Personal, prayer, Sad, Stars, the Cosmos, Truth, twins Add comments
No one knows what it’s like,
maybe even him
the days are like carbon copies of days gone by, yesterdays passed;
more of the same, the blooming of a thousand shades of grey
And life is grey; maybe it’s the only shade he knows . . .
No one knows what it’s like
maybe even me
as I take in his awkward smiles, I wonder just who they’re really meant for
Does he miss her?
Yes, he does, and he tells me so, in sotto voce syllables
I’m still unsure of what I must believe and choose to believe in him because
what’s left is all I have to believe in
No one knows what it’s like
Perhaps, God does, but He is forgetful too;
like the saving grace of His mercy, of dignity and compassion,
the sadness of detail, the complexity of why
And He cries,
for all fathers present and past, but maybe for a world He ultimately created
in love . . .
My father knows what it’s like
when it’s time for me to leave and
long forgotten tears of understanding reach his tired eyes,
tears I can no longer wipe away
because unlike him,
I already know what it’s like to say goodbye
And I do . . .
January 31st, 2009 at 1:00 am
sometimes i don’t think we were supposed to live past 40, biologically speaking. our purpose (procreation… passing along our genetics) is fundamentally done. maybe the years after that are just a bonus…
sending a hug to you, and everyone watching alzheimer’s do it’s worst…
February 1st, 2009 at 9:02 am
I’ve tried 6 times to comment on this, and here at the 7th attempt, still I struggle…
So often your words speak to me and the comment flows from my heart to my fingers, just as the tears flow from my eyes..this time I have the tears, but not the words..
February 1st, 2009 at 10:40 pm
Amazing and thoughtful words ~m.
February 3rd, 2009 at 9:22 pm
You got me! (tears are fallin’ my friend). I know how it works – how those words spill out, unbidden…cathartic…the only way to deal.
Stay strong – the hurdles can be conquered. The peace WILL come.
Kat
February 5th, 2009 at 1:09 pm
This breaks my heart… Such a beautifully sad poem…
No one knows… no one is supposed to… He alone understands and as He does… He forgets… cruel the lessons we must learn… painful the memories we must carry… for the burden gets heavier each passing minute, hour, day, year…
But Michael… we must learn… as he learned… as you learned… the lessons are what are our burdens. Not the experiences… time moves quick enough to mend… yet the mind, only can forget so much… and yet not enough…
Learn and remember always… these lessons are a gift… as the most important gifts are the ones which are imprinted in our Souls… I already know of pain and though I know not your pain… I know of pain… remember always…