Posted in 
Tags: 
I’m a bad Santa, a Grinch and yuletide curmudgeon of the highest order and I admit it.
Just the thought of this most blatantly commercial and candy-cane-twisted holiday sends me running for my dimly lit cave high on Mount Crumpit.
I’ll level with you and say that in my icy-cold heart I will always harbour a love
for the Christmas holiday with its ‘peace on earth, goodwill toward men’ mentality
but jeepers creepers how many lameass Mercedes Benz commercials can these ding-a-lings make?
Even if I had the dough I would never put a giant red bow on an SL550 and give it as a present.
You gotta be one hell of a pretentious douchebag to pull that one off.
I hardly ever watch TV and at this time of the year, even more so.
Television is where your radar picks up on all the subliminal horseshit this holiday has sadly come to represent.
Every year I try and trick myself into believing that I still hold close the personal ties of holidays past.
I’d be better off sticking my head into a steaming pile of reindeer shit.
Working retail does little but mar and mutilate a spirit that’s sadly on the ropes anyway.
I don’t hear the silver bells and I can’t see the blinking colored lights (unless they’re from a cruiser pulling me over for a busted taillight, Merry Christmas, ossifer)
Maybe it’s a psychological omission on my part, a defense mechanism to keep me from losing my plate of milk and cookies.
I should have dumped this post to Crumpit when I had the chance but I also felt it was only fair to explain my ‘month of December’ frosty sense of discontent.
If you visit here around the holidays you’ll notice that Mick gets very quiet.
I choose to leave my thoughts in a quiet place where silent snow falls, stars twinkle and the moon is always full.
It’s only in this blue crystal space that I build my sky-high snow forts of thought, ideas dripping like icicles in my frozen castle of winter words.
Maybe this will be the year that I somehow find a way to melt the walls of snow I’ve piled high, my vast emotional fortress of sorts.
Maybe this will be the time I find the absolute truth that lives peacefully inside a holiday I can honestly say I miss.
Then reality taps me on the shoulder and says, “Read This, Grinch.”
Yeah, we’re off to a brilliant start.
And people wonder why I despise this holiday and what it currently represents.
God help us, everyone.
I’m going back to my dimly lit cave, thank you very much . . .
i simply don’t shop any more… i get a few things for my kids, do something nice for Mom, bake biscotti and yummies for friends and the rest of the family – and then simply hang out with people i like. send cards to people i don’t see often…
and let the holiday consumer bullshit bounce off my forehead like so many bb’s off a tin roof! it’s good crack! try it!
In your dimly lit cave my friend, if you look closely, there is a light..tis only little, but it’s there all the same..bathed in the glow of that light are those you hold dear to your heart…no retail bullshit can ever change that..and those that you hold dear make the season what it’s meant to be…all about family and being together regardless of money {or lack of} people trying to sell cars or 500.00 toys…it is what you make it…nothing more, nothing less….
So glad Christmas isn’t really in July or I’d have to slap you with a wet fish!
It truly was a Black Friday.
What a sad thing to have happened. I am so against this whole Black Friday shopping thing – the things that go on in this country that actually help encourage humans to act like animals disgust me. I’m advocating just spending time with loved ones and forget about the shopping/gifts. It’s a holiday, people, not a reason to debase ourselves.
I’m with you.
aptly put. knew i could count on you to articulate my dark side that is coaxed out annually by the mothersmucking retail whores.
my gifts are patrick stewart narrating “a christmas carol,” vince guaraldi’s “charlie brown christmas,” michael m’s christmas CD, and my son’s tongue-in-cheek “merry christmas milford,” a rap song with a cool intro by jimmy stewart realizing it’s wonderful life.
it may be snowing in my heart right now, but i am thankful for tiny glowing lights, like your friendship.
peace.
You certainly have a way with words,”a pile of steaming reindeer shit”. I can almost smell it!
Don’t fret too much.Christmas Eve will be here before you know it.You’ll ride past the darkened mall with it’s empty parking lot and you will smile just like the Grinch did when he had an awful wonderful idea.
I love the word ‘crumpit’.
(Along with some other notions nicely described in this post.)
Hugs from closer to North pole land.
That’s why I do my Christmas shopping in April.
I’m still waiting on your CD of anti-Christmas songs.