Stiletto
clothing, dark, Family, Friends, hair, Humor, Just For Fun, Life, Memoir, not funny, Personal, Truth, twins, women, Wrong Add comments
All of us have moments in our lives that we repress; traumatic and emotional pitfalls, odd and complicated times – things we just can’t look squarely in the eye.
Occasionally, these moments are dragged out into the light for all to examine and mentally fondle.
This past August we went to stay with my sister and her family for a few days at Hampton Beach in New Hampshire.
It was here that one of these hairy little creatures of truth was revealed.
And no one was more surprised than ‘yours truly’.
One beautiful moonlit summer night, me, Pamela, my sister Maureen and my brother-in-law sat on their back deck sipping ice-cold margaritas while taking in the comfortable night.
With the conversation flowing nicely, and my cigar smoking beautifully
my sister said, “Do you remember in first grade when Mom dressed you up as a woman?”
I looked behind me wondering who the hell she was talking to.
My mother would never do something as hideously damaging as that to my then dormant masculinity.
I figured my sister was talking about a brother I never knew I had.
What else could possibly explain it?
I had no recollection of it whatsoever.
Holy crap, I wonder why.
She was staring at me, smiling.
“Me?” I said.
“Yeah, don’t you remember?” She asked.
“Get the hell outta here, Mom would never dress me up as a woman,” I said, scoffing at the mere thought.
“Well, she did. In First Grade. It was a costume contest.”
Pamela and my brother-in-law were laughing their proverbial asses off at the
hairy little critter my sister had just so casually released.
“Come on, ” I said, “You’re kidding, right?”
“Nope. And you won first place! You had on make-up and lipstick and you wore a dress.
I think she even gave you some boobs, too!”
Well, that explains . . . ah, nevermind.
So, I guess I made a very convincing woman when I was in the first grade.
This should eat up a few years of therapy.
Thanks, Mumsy.
And thanks to my sister for dropping that runny egg on my head. (you messed up my hair!)
Time to go change these damn panty hose, too.
Damn runs.
They just don’t make them like they used to when I was a little girl.
Wonder if she had me wear a pair of her stiletto heels, too . . .
Repressed memories?
Yeah, that’s one way to put it.
Somebody, please shoot me.
Just watch out for the pearls . . .
September 15th, 2008 at 9:26 pm
There have GOT to be pictures, somewhere…..
September 15th, 2008 at 9:31 pm
Now that is a funny story
I added you to my blogroll.. hope you don’t mind
September 15th, 2008 at 10:03 pm
Well this little tale would explain the bra you left at the nook then!
September 15th, 2008 at 10:14 pm
Oh, now that’s priceless. LOL. No wonder it was suppressed. And I like your new signature. It fits!
September 15th, 2008 at 11:26 pm
bwaaaaaaaaaaahhaaaaaaaaaaaa
September 16th, 2008 at 12:24 am
I bet you were hot.
Buhahahahaha!!!
September 16th, 2008 at 2:03 am
September 16th, 2008 at 7:50 am
OMG, that’s funny. Sorry to laugh, but, well, you know I couldn’t help it.
And if you get a run in those pantyhose and its under your skirt, to stop it spreading any further down your legs, use clear nail polish. Its just a bitch when it dries and you have to pull it off your skin and hairs come with it
Oh and when they get too laddered to be any good, they make great fan belt replacements. But you probably already know that.
September 16th, 2008 at 10:40 am
It’s okay, Michael.
You’re not alone. My wicked sister and I used to dress my youngest brother (then four or five) up in our nightgowns and do his hair up with my mother’s curlers.
For extra kicks, I used to dress my mother’s male cat in my sister’s underwear so I could watch him scoot backwards. Aah, the things we do to combat boredom.
September 16th, 2008 at 10:45 am
That’s funny ~M I sort of figured you to be more of a guy to wear a pair of pumps……… You could have probably pulled off that Britney Spears little school girl uniform
September 16th, 2008 at 11:31 am
be glad you were that young. my son decided – at 15 – to dress as a hooker for a halloween party. borrowed one of my slinky cocktail dresses, bought a pair of size 11 stilettos… and couldn’t keep his hands off his fake boobies all night.
i don’t know which of us is more scarred by THAT incident…
September 16th, 2008 at 8:07 pm
ROFLMAO… Sorry that it is at your expense.
Siblings are wonderful for stories like that. But your story sure beats the heck out of any that might be hiding in my closet. Is there any photographic evidence of this? I hope for your sake that there isn’t any. 
Are you collecting donations for therapy?
**snicker**
September 16th, 2008 at 11:10 pm
bloody hell michael…you change your theme like i change my underwear…daily!
no cracks from the peanut gallery either thanks….
September 16th, 2008 at 11:36 pm
Oh dear, now I almost feel bad- as a much older sister, I did the same to my little brother on a regular basis when he was a bit younger.
Besides that might be what makes you such an awesome guy now!
All sensitive and in touch with your feelings and all…..sorry could really not resist (it must be that big sister thing coming out again)
forgive me?
September 17th, 2008 at 2:57 am
Fantastic! My mom kept trying to dress me like a girl…but I wouldn’t have any of it. Until I got older. And realised how much fun dressing like a girl can be.
September 17th, 2008 at 7:02 am
What??? No comments from us allowed???? Ohhhhh go on.
And there’s no feline pictures with this theme either. Ohhhhh.
September 17th, 2008 at 8:47 am
Love this theme……
Although it will be short lived…..
I’m talking about the site not the dress style
Spaz
September 17th, 2008 at 8:20 pm
HA! Good one, although your sister totally screwed up. This was the skeleton in your closet. She should have waited
What will we ever have on you now, if you ever decide to run for office?
P.S. Have fun with Carnealian!!!!
September 18th, 2008 at 4:08 pm
it didn’t hurt anything, now did it? you didnt even remember! hah!
the mister allowed me to paint his face one time with makeup. i have the proof in my photo album. he makes for a purty woman.
btw, that stiletto pic is hotttt !
September 24th, 2008 at 2:33 am
great new ‘look’.
erm. well. i did this to my younger brother regularly – and paraded him around the streets!