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These are supposedly comments written on report cards by teachers from a public school in New York City.
While I can’t actually believe they are true, they are incredibly funny.
Received these through an email from my buddy Henry.
He never bothers to check the authenticity, probably why most of his emails are so damn funny.
I have a few days off from work and will be somewhat absent from the blog.
Not really going anywhere but I need some downtime.
I really do.
I’m going to try like hell to visit some folks tonight that I haven’t visited in a while.
Two blogs to maintain has left me speechless.
Head over to Moe’s to see a few interesting things from me.
In the meantime, be safe and be well.
Enjoy these comments.
1. Since my last report, your child has reached rock bottom and has started to dig.
2. I would not allow this student to breed.
3. Your child has delusions of adequacy.
4. Your son is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.
5. Your son sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them.
6. The student has a ‘full six-pack’ but lacks the plastic thing to hold it all together.
7. This child has been working with glue too much.
8. When your daughter’s IQ reaches 50, she should sell.
9. The gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn’t coming.
10. If this student were any more stupid, he’d have to be watered twice a week.
11. It’s impossible to believe the sperm that created this child beat out 1,000,000 others.
12. The wheel is turning but the hamster is definitely dead.
These are freakin’ hilarious dude.
These things always crack me up. I love 7, 8 and 10.
Those are good, I had a teacher that once told me I was not the brightest peanut in the turd.
M~~Between you and Annie, I’ve gotten about twenty minutes of good laughing in this afternoon to which I desperately needed. Yeah, I’m posting again. Trying to get back into the swing of things but you know what it’s like when you lose a loved one. And I lost my Dad.
Time. It becomes a bitch. I’m hoping the writing will help.
I think 1 and 8 were my favorite.
Thanks again,
kim
My personal favorite is: People would follow him anywhere, if only out of morbid curiousity.
Oh, and completely off-topic, but I have to get this one off my chest.
I received our host’s copy of his band Nineteen’s album today. I sat and listened to it. It is absolutely fricking, awesomely outstanding. Any group that can combine Steely Dan, Stevie Wonder, Earth Wind and Fire, The Ides of March, Billy Joel, Don Henley and Tower of Power . . . well, I bow down before their selections, musicianship, horn section, keyboards, guitar, percussion, vocals and sharp sense of jazz, funk, soul and California blues. If I retire and open that neighborhood bar and grill I always dreamed of, these guys are my first, middle and last chance for house band.
Michael, a truly wonderful CD. And I’ll be there, the smile of your Japan, the sparkle of your China, and I’ll be there, bodhisattva, bodhisattva, bodhisattva, bodhisattva, bodhisattva, lookout . . . .
~m
Enjoy your downtime.
Thanks for the back to school giggle.
#3 is a cracker!!
My favorites are 2, 4, and 11.
Hope you are enjoying your time off.
I think my boss borrowed heavily from this list for my last performance appraisal. Number 5 looks chillingly familiar.
Boy, are you in trouble….
OMG….I love these! Since I start back to school next week, I will share these with the teachers. What a way to start the year! I doubt they are true comments. Now that everything has to be politically correct, even when things should be said they aren’t, because someone’s feelings may be hurt. We can’t serve food/snacks or say the “C” word! ‘CHRISTMAS’ And we wonder why kids behave the way they do???????? Hmmmmmm?
Thanks for all the comments on this one.
I liked it too and wanted to share it.
A few special comment replies:
FFE? Call me when you finally buy that place, okay?
The band doesn’t work cheap but believe me if you liked the CD, the band would just kill you live.
Lolly?
I’ll be in touch.
~m
lol, funny.