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Got this from my wife several days ago and just had to share it.
Kids can be hilarious.
The last one from James is probably my favourite.
*This is a picture of an octopus. It has eight testicles. (Kelly, age 6)
*Oysters’ balls are called pearls. (Jerry, age 6)
*If you are surrounded by ocean you are an island. If you
don’t have ocean all round you, you are incontinent.
(Wayne, age 7)*Sharks are ugly and mean, and have big teeth, just like
Emily Richardson. She’s not my friend any more.
(Kylie, age 6)*A dolphin breathes through an asshole on the top of its head. (Billy, age 7)
*My uncle goes out in his boat with 2 other men and a woman and pots and comes back with crabs.
(Millie, age 6)*When ships had sails, they used to use the trade winds
to cross the ocean. Sometimes when the wind didn’t blow
the sailors would whistle to make the wind come. My brother
said they would have been better off eating beans.
(William, age 7)*Mermaids live in the ocean. I like mermaids. They are
beautiful and I like their shiny tails, but how on earth do
mermaids get pregnant?
Like, really? (Helen, age 6)*I’m not going to write about the ocean. My baby brother is
always crying, my Dad keeps yelling at my Mom, and my big
sister has just got pregnant, so I can’t think what to write.
(Amy, age 6)*Some fish are dangerous. Jellyfish can sting. Electric eels
can give you a shock. They have to live in caves under the sea where I
think they have to plug themselves into chargers.
(Christopher, age 7)*When you go swimming in the ocean, it is very cold,
and it makes my willy small. (Kevin, age 6)*On vacation my Mom went water skiing.
She fell off when she was going very fast. She says she won’t do it again because
water fired right up her big fat ass. (Julie, age 7)*The ocean is made up of water and fish. Why the fish don’t drown
I don’t know. (Bobby, age 6)*My dad was a sailor on the ocean. He knows all about the ocean.
What he doesn’t know is why he quit being a sailor and married my mom.
(James, age 7)
LMAO here…kids are hysterical aren’t they??? They just say it without thought for anything but what’s in their heads…..such a pity the grow and lose that art..well, they don’t so much lose it, as they learn the term “politically correct”
Be great to be able to wipe that term from the memory of every person alive and then we could actually say things that we think instead of worrying about whether it’s right or not wouldn’t it? Just like kids do…
Gotta love those kids! I sometimes think I should write a book about all the things kids (1st graders mostly) say to me on any given day at school. That’s one thing I miss over the summer.
aaaaaahahhaa! I absolutely love the honesty that children have.
Honesty mixed with innocence. Precious!
Dolphins breathing through assholes. Brilliance.
OMG – these are great. Thanks, I liked that little break today!
“Mermaids live in the ocean. I like mermaids. They are
beautiful and I like their shiny tails, but how on earth do
mermaids get pregnant?”
I wonder if she knows how her parent’s got pregnant? There may be some concerns for that kiddo.
Oh dad. Kids say the darndest things, don’t they?
Millie and William are the favs here.
Ma likes the electric eels one.
~H
I am now envious of octopi. I only have three.
sweet and sad… it’s the kid with the yelling dad and pregnant sister and little brother that i heard… guess i’m in that kinda mood. but dolphins breathing through head-based assholes? nothing wrong with that logic!
Very funny. I so understand their way of thinking. Well, except for Amy’s. That was sad and brutally honest. Too much for a 6 year old, I think.
I liked the last one by James the best.