Children Writing About The Ocean

Got this from my wife several days ago and just had to share it.
Kids can be hilarious.
The last one from James is probably my favourite.

*This is a picture of an octopus. It has eight testicles. (Kelly, age 6)

*Oysters’ balls are called pearls. (Jerry, age 6)

*If you are surrounded by ocean you are an island. If you
don’t have ocean all round you, you are incontinent.
(Wayne, age 7)

*Sharks are ugly and mean, and have big teeth, just like
Emily Richardson. She’s not my friend any more.
(Kylie, age 6)

*A dolphin breathes through an asshole on the top of its head. (Billy, age 7)

*My uncle goes out in his boat with 2 other men and a woman and pots and comes back with crabs.
(Millie, age 6)

*When ships had sails, they used to use the trade winds
to cross the ocean. Sometimes when the wind didn’t blow
the sailors would whistle to make the wind come. My brother
said they would have been better off eating beans.
(William, age 7)

*Mermaids live in the ocean. I like mermaids. They are
beautiful and I like their shiny tails, but how on earth do
mermaids get pregnant?
Like, really? (Helen, age 6)

*I’m not going to write about the ocean. My baby brother is
always crying, my Dad keeps yelling at my Mom, and my big
sister has just got pregnant, so I can’t think what to write.
(Amy, age 6)

*Some fish are dangerous. Jellyfish can sting. Electric eels
can give you a shock. They have to live in caves under the sea where I
think they have to plug themselves into chargers.
(Christopher, age 7)

*When you go swimming in the ocean, it is very cold,
and it makes my willy small. (Kevin, age 6)

*On vacation my Mom went water skiing.
She fell off when she was going very fast. She says she won’t do it again because
water fired right up her big fat ass. (Julie, age 7)

*The ocean is made up of water and fish. Why the fish don’t drown
I don’t know. (Bobby, age 6)

*My dad was a sailor on the ocean. He knows all about the ocean.
What he doesn’t know is why he quit being a sailor and married my mom.
(James, age 7)

Fresh

I’ve been busy updating my “pages” and doing some sorely needed blog maintenance.
The Ghosts and Poetry pages have been updated.
I’ve also posted a short story I wrote 6 years ago.
Just click on one of the corresponding tabs above to get there.
Thanks to Moe for all her help and guidance when I was absolutely freaking out.
She is a dear friend and a most awesome blogger.
If you haven’t visited her yet (or blogrolled her) you are really missing out.
Got some stuff planned in a few days.
Please stop back.
In the meantime, please browse my “pages”.
Soon . . .

Ghosts I-IV

I found a free download
for the new self-released Nine Inch Nails CD, called Ghosts I-IV.
The download is relatively painless and gives you 9 free songs.
All instrumental, the songs are an interesting
blend of all the things you would expect from Reznor.
Nine dark, industrial, techno-laced compositions.
Click on the NIN image to the left and choose “free download”.
These are in MP3 format but can be burned to CD
and thrown back into Itunes for your Ipod.
Good stuff.
I’ll be back to some regular posting momentarily.
I have the feeling people have had enough of my “cuts” post.
Amen to that.
Thanks to all that commented.
I truly appreciate it.

Cuts

truth, masquerading
honesty is a false face
cuts my bleeding soul . . .

This day has found me disillusioned with various aspects of my life.
I am sadly discovering that in the blogworld, things aren’t always what they seem.
Seriously contemplating some time away from this place that I truly love, if only to figure out just what the hell I’m really trying to accomplish here.
I may be back tomorrow, I may not.
Right now, I just don’t know.
Pleading the fifth and I’ll leave it at that.
Much safer that way.
Until next time, be well folks.


Avenue Blue

@2 Avenue Blue,
lies a slate overgrown with the bluest of moments,
cue the crashing waves of silence, and a wooden ship carelessly washed ashore;
unwanted and forsaken

@2 Avenue Blue,
a terminal night falls, showing no signs of any kind of hope in dawning crimson . . .
white-capped and perpetual waves of the past
wash away so many castles built,
gifts in the sand,
the sacred stuff of God;
fragile things, like so many grains of a dream lost to heaven, maybe hell

@2 Avenue Blue
midnight cries at a butter yellow moon, a flickering candle in a desolate night sky,
a solemn lunar lullabye
to the crashing waves of change,
forever washing clean the sins and inherent innocence of a distant
yet barren shore . . .
discovered, yet unknown and maybe new
@2 Avenue Blue

Tut

I subscribe to “A Note from the Universe”,
a personalized mass email that sometimes inspires and
sometimes surprises me by its almost “Kreskin-like” content.
Sign up, if you wish.
Today’s offering was, for me, quite close to the bone and prophetic;

“Some folks, not having lived perhaps as much as you, endured as much, or loved as much,
simply cannot see the truth of a situation, disagreement, or relationship as clearly as you.
And so, it’s wise to keep in mind, Michael, that it’s not their fault.
Can you see this?
That you are in their life, Michael, that you are helping them, was part of the plan… though they cannot see this, either.”

Sometimes, I have to wonder.

Being Poor

The economy is tanking and the price of fuel is appalling.
$50.00 at the supermarket gets you barely enough for a decent meatloaf with mashed potatoes and gravy. Even vegetables are getting ridiculous.
Yearly health premiums for a family of five could conceivably buy a new car.
It’s maddening and frustrating as hell watching the complete devastation and ultimate obliteration of the dying middle class.
With mounting debt and a fast approaching winter heating season, some people are coming to terms with what it truly means to be poor.
I found an online essay called “Being Poor” written by a gentleman named John Scalzi.
Although I can’t relate to the essay in its entirety, there were several things that really made me think.

  • Being poor is hoping the toothache goes away.
  • Being poor is knowing you work as hard as anyone, anywhere.
  • Being poor is running in place.
  • Being poor is having to live with choices you didn’t know you made when you were 14 years old.
  • Being poor is getting tired of people wanting you to be grateful.
  • Being poor is knowing how hard it is to stop being poor.

To read Scalzi’s essay, click on the picture above.
I personally feel it’s a must read for everyone.