Got this from my wife several days ago and just had to share it.
Kids can be hilarious.
The last one from James is probably my favourite.
*This is a picture of an octopus. It has eight testicles. (Kelly, age 6)
*Oysters’ balls are called pearls. (Jerry, age 6)
*If you are surrounded by ocean you are an island. If you
don’t have ocean all round you, you are incontinent.
(Wayne, age 7)
*Sharks are ugly and mean, and have big teeth, just like
Emily Richardson. She’s not my friend any more.
(Kylie, age 6)
*A dolphin breathes through an asshole on the top of its head. (Billy, age 7)
*My uncle goes out in his boat with 2 other men and a woman and pots and comes back with crabs.
(Millie, age 6)
*When ships had sails, they used to use the trade winds
to cross the ocean. Sometimes when the wind didn’t blow
the sailors would whistle to make the wind come. My brother
said they would have been better off eating beans.
(William, age 7)
*Mermaids live in the ocean. I like mermaids. They are
beautiful and I like their shiny tails, but how on earth do
mermaids get pregnant?
Like, really? (Helen, age 6)
*I’m not going to write about the ocean. My baby brother is
always crying, my Dad keeps yelling at my Mom, and my big
sister has just got pregnant, so I can’t think what to write.
(Amy, age 6)
*Some fish are dangerous. Jellyfish can sting. Electric eels
can give you a shock. They have to live in caves under the sea where I
think they have to plug themselves into chargers.
(Christopher, age 7)
*When you go swimming in the ocean, it is very cold,
and it makes my willy small. (Kevin, age 6)
*On vacation my Mom went water skiing.
She fell off when she was going very fast. She says she won’t do it again because
water fired right up her big fat ass. (Julie, age 7)
*The ocean is made up of water and fish. Why the fish don’t drown
I don’t know. (Bobby, age 6)
*My dad was a sailor on the ocean. He knows all about the ocean.
What he doesn’t know is why he quit being a sailor and married my mom.
(James, age 7)