Home Run for Dad

I have a very busy weekend coming up so I wanted to post something tonight.
This Sunday is Father’s Day and it will be a very emotional one for yours truly.
For those that visit here often and have been with me for sometime I think you understand why.
This will undoubtedly be the last such holiday that will find me actively participating.
I’m surprised my father is still hanging in there but if he can, so can I.
I plan on being there on Sunday to feed him lunch and will hopefully get my hands on some kind of special dessert; preferably something soft, sweet and chocolate.

I’ll tell him a few stories about the Red Sox and the Celtics and feel kind of sad because I know I’m doing it more for me than I am him, or so I think. Anything that will make the moment seem more normal is what I’m shooting for. I’ll take the inevitable stroll down Memory Lane and . . .
I’ll remember him after my sister’s wedding when we had a party back at the house.
He was in his glory that night. His daughter was married earlier that day to the love of her life and the wedding went beautifully. He was healthy and happy, as was my mother.
There were people everywhere and there was nothing that could soil his mood.
One of the groomsmen had a few too many drinks and happened to walk right through the screen door of the den (it was a hot August night) and I think Dad pissed himself laughing.
We all did.
It was the laughter that I remember from that night, his happiness, my mother’s glow.
These are the things I’ll think about when I see him on Sunday, trying hard to forget about the sadness, the loss and the many tears.
Upon leaving him, I’ll have a moment to myself because in my heart it will be one of the last.
This Father’s Day, I’m dedicating my world to the man that never missed one of my baseball games, stuck by me through thick and thin (though he knew I was probably wrong), loved me even though I was, at times, a mischievous and unruly son.
I pray to God that he always knew how very much I loved him and wanted to make him proud.
In my mind, it’s the bottom of the ninth with 2 outs, no score and no men on base.
This one’s for you, Wally.
And I’m hitting this one out of the park.
All I need now is an “after game” burnt hot dog with mustard and all will be right with the world . . .
Always,

19 thoughts on “Home Run for Dad

  1. Oh ~m…this made me cry because I can hear the pain in your voice…not your words this time, your voice…please know you and yours are in our minds and hearts, today, tomorrow and always…I pray the journey your father approaches is gentle and painless, and that the angels sing the sweetest song ever heard from heaven…
    Be this Sunday for you or for him, you’ll spend it together and that’s what counts…I’ll say a prayer and light a candle for you tomorrow in the hope this very special day between Fathers and their children is extra special for you both..perhaps your own girls will ease the pain? I hope so…
    Moe

    It was so strange when I wrote this. I fired up the laptop and there it was.
    I appreciate the oh, so kind words.
    No doubt the day will be special as I’ll be surrounded by my favorite ladies all day long.
    It just doesn’t get any better than that sometimes.
    Thanks, Moe.
    ~m

  2. ~M,
    Be proud, you are a great DAD and SON!
    Make this Sunday a special day!

    You’re not too bad yourself there, Laho . . .
    Thanks, buddy.
    Have a great one!
    ~m

  3. oh, m squared!

    how i wish that your father could read these words. in my heart of hearts, i truly believe he knows how you feel about him…how strong your love is, how deep your feelings.

    thank God for the beautiful memories you have kept intact, and thank God for your lovely, heart-wrenching words.

    happy father’s day to an outstanding man. {and to his beautiful, fragile father…}


    How I love to read your comments. Honestly.
    No doubt my mother reads the blog daily and knows.
    Maybe she somehow conveys it to him.
    It’s a thought anyway.
    Thanks so much.
    ~m

  4. Ah, hallmark holidays. I almost hate them for this reason – they are used so often to mark so many firsts and lasts in our lives while “they” earn a tidy profit. But this gentle soul was your father not just on “Children’s Day” but EVERY day. Also YOU have honored HIM on more than just one day a year, and you continue to do so (although he may not be aware of it). I sincerely wish I could make things better/easier/less painful for you and I wish he could see the beautiful sentiments you are able to write about him.

    Make it count, Michael, and get that hot dog too. Biggest of hugs to you!

    Aww, thanks, kiddo.
    I’m planning on making myself a burnt dog in his honor (and a boiled lobster, perhaps)
    That you read and commented makes me feel better.
    ~m

  5. Oh Michael, such beautiful words and sentiments about your Dad. I lost mine 8 1/2 years ago and there’s not a day that goes by that I don’t think of him. I’ll be thinking about you and your Dad on Sunday.

    I’m glad you enjoyed this.
    I think I may have to launch out of my bittersweet and melacholy “Nicholas Sparks” stage very soon.
    What do you think? ;)
    ~m

  6. Hey Michael-
    Your post made me cry…..for many reasons. June 9th was 10 years since my Dad passed away. I loved reading your post….reading about a Home Run for Wally! Maybe that’s what he needs. I am thinking back to your post about the baseball in his shoebox…….my favorite, I think. That is something my Dad would have done. He wasn’t a sports player, but loved to watch my brother pitch. As a kid in Worcester and Oxford, I remember spending many days/nights as a family watching my brothers games. I hope you are able to take in every moment with your Dad on Father’s Day! Memories are wonderful things to share and I bet he’ll be listening. Enjoy your time with the girls (all 4 of them) on Father’s Day! You’re a great Dad! Enjoy!
    Happy Father’s Day to you!

    I gotta stop making so many people cry. Sheesh.
    During the writing of this, I did get a bit misty myself (which always takes me by surprise)
    I’m on the train so I hate to look like some fruit loop but it happens. Emotion happens.
    Maybe that’s a good thing, I don’t know.
    Thanks for the wishes and tell J I said HFD!
    He hasn’t chain-sawed another appendage off or anything lately has he? ;)
    ~m

  7. Somewhere inside, he knows. Tell him again, as much for you as for him. Thanks for sharing your heart.

    I promise you, I will.
    Thanks so much, KL
    ~m

  8. “I pray to God that he always knew how very much I loved him and wanted to make him proud.”

    I was reminded of that Mike and the Mechanics song, The Living Years, when I read your post. Somehow, we never manage to say everything that we need to say. I’m sure your dad knew how you felt. Happy Father’s Day to you both. (big hugs)

    I can’t begin to say how very much your comment means to me.
    You are amazing, Deb.
    Thank you so much.
    Have an awesome weekend. Cook for the hubby, okay? ;)
    btw- “The Living Years” is a favorite of mine. How did you know?
    ~m

  9. I watched my Mom whither away from dementia for 4 years until she finally passed away in 1997. I know how difficult this is for you. I was close to my mom and it was so hard to watch her disappear so slowly. My father went from being perky and at work with me on a Friday and gone on Sunday which was a total shock to my system. I don’t know which was worse.

    I do know you have your own life to live and can’t dwell on the hard stuff all the time. My son is a “recovering” heroin addict. I say that loosely because he slipped and took coke in March. I have had to let go of him too or at least not think about him night and day like I used to. It is so hard to let go of the people you love more than anything else in the world.

    I know now though that I have to think of myself and my own well being at some point if I want to live a somewhat happy life but then the blogs are a good place to let out the things you hold inside all day.

    Here you have people who will listen and care no matter what you write or feel. I feel safe and accepted here in this huge web of people.

    You understand more deeply than most the things I write of.
    I thank you for the comments.
    And yes, ‘safe’ is a very good way to say how you feel.
    I pray people always feel that way here.
    ~m

  10. Yet again, I am gently reminded to cherish the time and blessings I have with all of my loved ones.

    I’m sure your father knows you love him ~m. Love is more than the words we say, it is the things we do and the feelings we have. Whether or not he knows your name, or remembers your visit afterwards, he knows the loving care you bestow upon him and the feeling of love from you to him. We hold our babies and give them love even though they don’t know us yet, but they know our love. I believe it is much the same for your father, only it is the ending not the beginning.

    I do hope you enjoy your day with your family Michael. You are a pretty awesome father yourself.

    Jennifer

    “only it is the ending not the beginning”
    How very right you are.
    Thanks for the comment, J
    ~m

  11. While this may be the last Father’s Day with your dad in the physical sense, I know you will celebrate him forever and always in your heart. He must be a truly special man, and he raised you well. He is a part of you, you are a part of him. Alzheimer’s may hide that fact, but it cannot change it. (((hugs)))


    Thanks, MrsV.
    Your thoughts always mean much to me.
    ~m

  12. Thank you for sharing this part of your life.
    I understand you to be compassionate & brave.


    The sharing is something I’ve always tried to do here.
    I think that in some small way, it’s working.
    Thanks, C
    ~m

  13. Such beautiful words. Your love for your dad is so evident in those words. Cherish the time you have with him, and when he passes, remember him always as lovingly as you have described him here.

    Have a wonderful day with your dad.

    Never ceases to amaze me the people that leave a comment.
    After visiting your blog and reading your comments on Evyl’s site, I have to say thank you
    for this little piece of your heart.
    It means alot to me, Anja
    ~m

  14. He knows. His heart knows your heart. That’s the wonder and the miracle of your connection – his heart knows your heart.

    Brilliant. Just brilliant.

    smiles,
    ~m

  15. Next to bat ~m
    He steps to the plate.
    The pitcher shakes off the sign, never a good move.
    Another sign from the catcher, this one he likes.
    The pitcher has had one hell of a game tonight, can he finish it off?
    And it looks like that is a no…. ~m has made this the perfect finish…HOME RUN!
    Boston wins it! Boston wins it!

    How good are you, CG?
    Damn, I smiled reading this comment.
    I thank you. I really thank you . . .
    ~m

  16. Swing away, buddy, swing away!

    -smith

    After my Dad killed the sundae from Friendly’s I chalked up the day to a walk around the bases.
    You missed a beauty day today, buddy. A beaut . . .
    ~m

  17. I know i’m a little late commenting on this, but i had to. You know M, it’s so wonderful that you share this with us. I know it is hard for you and i just want to thank you. We have gotten to know your dad in his heyday as well as today. He sounds like a wonderful man and is lucky to have a wonderful son like you.

    thanks again for letting us in to this very personal part of your life.

    Reg, it’s pretty much what I do.
    That you connected with this on some level makes me feel very good.
    I appreciate you so much commenting.
    Better late than never . . . ;)
    Nice to have you back and commenting
    ~m

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