Thursday
I’ve never been a morning person and don’t think I will ever be.
it usually takes and hour or so and several strong cups of coffee before I’m even semi-lucid.
Hell, I have a tough time deciding between grape jelly or peanut butter for my English muffin.
On days like that I just go with some butter
(maybe a dab or two of vegemite, an Aussie condiment that is slowly growing on me)
This morning I was running a bit late when I got to Boston and stopped at Dunkin’ Donuts for a simple breakfast sandwich.
The girl behind the counter was of oriental persuasion, an important detail as you read the foillowing conversation.
DD: I hep you?
me: yeah, an egg, cheese and ham on a croissant, please.
DD: you want coffee?
me: no.
(DD turns and says something to a co-worker before turning around)
DD: What kind sandwich you want?
me: Egg-Cheese-Ham-Croissant
DD: you want coffee?
me: (louder) NO.
(DD gets called by another co-worker and I’m getting a tad worked up)
DD: What kind of meat you want?
me: HAM!
DD: you want coffee?
me: “for the third and final time, no, I do not want coffee and if I did I would say, “could I please have a cup of coffee?” (muttered under my breath: “Christ-in-a-sidecar”)
Wonder why I never go to DD’s?
(expletives deleted that I refuse to write, but know that there are many)
God, I hate mornings . . .
I wonder if they get a commission on coffee.
When I worked at GJ’s (Gloria Jeans Coffees) in Hurstville, used to have similar experiences -but in reverse. They would come up to the counter and growl at you “MOCHA CHILLER” and you’d say “What flavor?” They’d glare at you and growl again, and louder “MOCHA CHILLER” again, you’d say “WHAT FLAVOR??” Mocha chiller was the damn base drink, NOT the name of the drink. Kind of like saying ” I WANT COFFEE” and just repeating that when you asked if it was latte or cappucino. They used to drive me freakin nuts. Of course I would have LOVED to use some of those expletives you left out of your post, but being the bloody professional that I am, never did….bugger it.
Cheers, Kelly
p.s I too am NOT a morning person so can you please explain to me WHY my last job and the new one are 7-bloody-am starts???
You want coffee , Joe? Me make real good, numbah one.
Ha Ha i love those oriental counter people. They bring out the sicko in me when they keep asking dumb questions because they don’t listen. heres a trick I use to some success with their persuasion.
DD: I hep you?
me: yeah, an egg, cheese and ham on a croissant, please.
DD: you want coffee?
me: no.
(DD turns and says something to a co-worker before turning around)
DD: What kind sandwich you want?
me: Egg-Cheese-Ham-Croissant
DD: you want coffee?
me: (louder) NO.
(DD gets called by another co-worker and I’m getting a tad worked up)
DD: What kind of meat you want?
me: woof woof bark bark roof
me: sorry the only Asian language i speak is Peakiness! Woof, Yelp, Bow wow,
Geer.
They usually end up with a weird look on their faces but the rest of the customers usually end up on the floor laughing and nearly crying.
But then I’m a sicko who loves taking the piss out of idiots who don’t listen.
Have a similar laugh at Mackas. Ask for the Manager and then ask him where his red nose and big shoes are. They don’t think it’s funny but everybody else does
Cheers
Anonypop
Oh M`, WAKE-UP!
May be you was a MUMBLING!
1. there is NO choice between jelly, peanut butter and vegemite…the vegie will win every time in our house…stating the obvious there i guess..eat a full teaspoon…that’ll wake you up quick smart…i can guarantee it!!
2. places like dd’s and all of those don’t make coffee…they throw ground coffee and water together in the hope people will THINK it’s coffee…
3. i detest it when i go somewhere and get asked “can i hep you?” learn the f**king language if you want to live here! it’s help you great “oriental” git! {shit how restrained was that??}
4. that husband of mine is one very sick puppy!
*shakes head*
must be why i love him so much do you think??
one other little thing…i excused you from the rolling post cos i know you need to get some semblance of normality in your life!
no, no! don’t thank me..just add another bourbon and coke {with lots of ice} thank you possum….
I’ve driven past drive-thru windows because of this very thing. The sad part is, the last time this happened to me, the girl was white. I made the mistake of asking her to leave the lettuce off of my BigMac, and then proceeded to start with the rest of my order. The more I tried to clarify, the more confused she became.
My hubby has these same experience all the time at Dunkin’ Donuts. Usually it’s with orange juice though. And even after he gets them to repeat the order correctly, they still usually end up messing it up somehow. **shrugs**
LOL
unfortunately, most of the gum-snapping bimbos who work at drunken donuts, caucasian or otherwise, are somewhat challenged anyway.
i love it that you have adopted “christ-in-a-sidecar”!
s. king’s latest: “jesus krispies!”…from duma key. yeah.
at a lavish recognition dinner for a previous job, at an elegant hotel, i couldn’t make the female server understand “decaf.” saying it louder, repeating myself, or offering it up in american sign language apparently doesn’t help, either.
jesus krispies!
I’ve been to that DD. They are, indeed, breathtakingly stupid. I only go there when the line at Starbucks is too long to be endured.
On another note, is this the template-du-jour?
-smith
I live in a large metro area, and every fast food/service industry place here is staffed by those of the asian, indian, of hispanic persuasions.
So always, yeah. Can’t order anything correctly if you’re an American. In America. Speaking English.
given that i excused you from the post young man, you’d better flucking vote!
big question is will you have time to read it first??
I am so not a morning person either – an experience like yours would have done my head in. I think you did well to be that patient. I would have been shouting expletives all over the place.
We live in an area of Sydney with lots of people of “Non English Speaking Backgrounds” (notice how PC I am being) and they drive me nuts. And its not just the ones that work at places like DD. Apparently the road rules and the school rules don’t apply to them either.
LOL! That’s funny. Funny because it happened to someone else. If that would have been me, I probably would have choked her. I usually only order coffee there. And because of that I got to stand back and watch a similar scenario take place at a DD. I usually want to hand out my staffing agency business cards but then something like this happens and I remember “that’s why they’re working at DD!” And I don’t feel bad anymore.
And here I sit reading your blog drinking DD coffee. Darn near choked on it too. Funny…
Vegemite is beginning to grow on you? Dude, there is a cream for that – should clear it right up. I heard that can get REAL nasty if left untreated.
And do not get me started on people screwing up our fast food order. I don’t know if it is because we eat so much damn fast food or what, but it always seems they screw our order up more than anyone else.