Jan 2nd
Wednesday
- I hate every bone in her body but mine.
- I ain’t never gone to bed with an ugly woman but I sure woke up with a few.
- If the phone don’t ring, you’ll know it’s me.
- I’ve missed you, but my aim’s improvin’.
- Wouldn’t take her to a dogfight ’cause I’m real scared she’d win.
- I’m so miserable without you, it’s almost like having you here.
- My wife ran off with my best friend and I miss him.
- She took my ring and gave me the finger.
- She’s lookin’ better with every beer.
And the Number One bad title is . . .
-
It’s hard to kiss the lips at night (that chewed my ass out all day long).
A shout out to my good cigar-smoking bud, WM for the email.
You made Henry proud with this one, dude.
~m
The photo made me laugh as much as the song titles did.
Country music is definitely creative with their titles! And their lyrics…Sarah Johns, He Hates Me
We could be honeymooning south of the border
If he’d just drop that restraining order
LOL! Happy New Year!
YEEEEEEEEE-ha!
that was awesome!
“We could be honeymooning south of the border
If he’d just drop that restraining order…”
God, how i love our 1st amendment!
**She’s lookin’ better with every beer**
yep…i’m guessing most men {and a lot of women} can relate to this one!
BTW, someone once posted song lyrics on my blog for a song called, “Beauty’s in the Eye of the Beer Holder,” which is sort of wonderful.
that sarah john quote does it for me
Some of my favorites:
If I said you have a beautiful body would you hold it against me.
I don’t want your body if your heart’s not in it
Every time you throw dirt at me you lose a little ground.
and my all time favorite: I’d rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy
Those are freaking hilarious!!
Man, and to think I didn’t come up with a single one of those. I have alot of work to do to come up with the quality of those. Still my 2 Top 10 hits are favories to many…
“Let me be the Phys. in your Phys. Ed.”
“Your love is like Putt-Putt golfin in the rain.”
(true) She looked better with every beer (at the port authority bus terminal bar 25 years ago).And guess what? We got on the same bus.
She wraped her ruby reds around the old bloodstich as we pulled out on Route 3 west–not a good move on a full bus with standing passengers, ugh. Was shy about riding the bus the next day so started taking the train. That ended a few weeks later when I tossed up a few pints of Guiness on the smoking car floor while the guy was punching my ticket. Phew! Lucky for me there was another bus to switch to. That was some sad sack stuff–all cuz of a few beers and one CrAzY lady!
I heard another one for you the other day. It’s a Lyle Lovett song (I love that man!! AND he’s coming to my town very soon with John Hiatt!) Anyway, I can’t resist putting all the lyrics here, they’re too funny:
She hates my mama
She hates my daddy too
She loves to tell me
She hates the things I do
She loves to lie beside me
Almost every night
She’s no lady she’s my wife
The preacher asked her
And she said I do
The preacher asked me
And she said yes he does too
And the preacher said
I pronounce you 99 to life
Son she’s no lady she’s your wife
And I can’t remember
How I met her
Seems like she’s always just been hanging here off my right arm
And I can’t remember
How I ever
Thought that I just couldn’t live without a woman’s charm
And even though
She loves the smell of French perfume
And even though
She walks around in high-heel shoes
All I know
Is I’m the one who pays her price
Man she’s no lady she’s my wife
And I can’t remember
How I met her
Seems like she’s always just been hanging here off my right arm
And I can’t remember
How I ever
Thought that I just couldn’t live without a woman’s charm
Yea she hates my mama
She hates my daddy too
She loves to tell me
She hates the things I do
She loves to lie beside me
Almost every night
She’s no lady she’s my wife