Thursday
About a month ago, a woman left a wonderful comment on one of my posts regarding Alzheimer’s disease. The comment seemed to go fairly deep in terms of its actual meaning. I replied to her personally because I was moved by her message.
We traded several emails explaining in depth our own personal situations.
Her father was traveling down the long and winding road I still call Dementia Alley, and she found a sense of connection and solace in several posts of mine that she had read.
As a writer, the most essential thing we can do is connect.
If we’ve done that, we have ultimately succeeded.
It still strikes me as odd, albeit gratifying, that the words I write should have any effect at all with this world on fire.
Maybe my naiveté and humility is what keeps me from soaring higher in the literary world, I don’t know.
I sent this woman a fairly lengthy email in late June and expected a response that never came. Strange, I thought, until a few days ago.
It turned out that her father had died on the 4th of July.
All questions were answered, unfortunately.
She’d been going through hell during her father’s last days and I’m here waiting for an inconsequential email. It all made sense.
I sent her an email expressing my sadness for the sudden loss of her father.
I asked her how she found me in the first place.
She said her father was getting confused by the bathroom mirror.
He would go to his wife and pull her into the bathroom, point to the mirror and ask,
“How come that man won’t talk to me?”
The tragic loss of self for the Alzheimer patient must be somewhat responsible for the mystery and confusion when looking into a mirror.
Looking for a solution, she went to the internet and Googled “Mirrors / Alzheimer’s” and got me.
It blew me away.
For all that technology does wrong, this was undoubtedly right.
It’s really nice to think that I may have helped her feel some comfort.
As I continue to write, I hope and pray that my words continue to “find” the people that really need them.
It’s one of the reasons I began writing to begin with, thanks to my mom.
I’ve decided to start an Alzheimer webring in the hopes of assembling a number of compassionate and genuinely helpful blogs and websites geared towards dealing with the many trials and tribulations associated with the wrestling of this dreadful monster.
The webring will be called “Memory Lane” and will hopefully grow into a resource that helps the many people caring for a loved one lost in the labyrinth of a disease that presently has no cure.
Memory Lane is currently under construction but should be up and running in a few weeks. If you’d like to join the webring, leave a comment and I will contact you with the pertinent information (and HTML for your site) when the webring is functional.
~m
I love seeing people take action in face of their troubles. I’m so proud of you Michael. I can tell that you’re one of those great people that makes such a difference in other people’s lives. Kudos to you.
Thanks, Lass.
Thanks again for the warm comment.
I’m only doing what I think needs to be done.
Once I’m up and running, I’m toying with the idea of contacting the Alzheimer’s Association to see if there’s anyway they could promote the ring. I think it could really help some people.
God knows, I could have used this kind of info ten years ago.
The only problem I see is that they would look through my blog and see “Hooters” and wonder what I’ve been smoking.
~michael
Michael thats a beautiful idea. Make sure you have it set up so that I can have a link for it on my site but not have to be a part of the ring ok? I’ll put it on the family/friends site, and mine…
Your a special guy.
Thanks, Kel, and I’ll definitely let you know…
~m
It is a worthy thing that you do. My hat is off to you. You make a difference with who you are and what you do and how you write. That is why I call you friend. Best of luck on this endevour.
Friends?
You bet, Fuzz…
You’re one of my favorites and we haven’t even met.
Thanks for the comment.
Much appreciated…
~m
Michael–Wonderful!! Thank you so much for doing this–I hope my site will be one of the first to form this ring. I’ll never forget how supportive you were to me when I discovered your blog, and I’ve always considered that discovery an extremely fortunate turn for me! Let me know if I can help in any way.
Your Mom is smiling down at you.
I’ll add you tonight, Deb.
You are a great friend.
~m
I was fortunate to never have to deal with this. It has got to be a tremendous source of pain for the family members. Keep writing about it. Obviously your word is getting out.
I pray it is.
Thanks, Carn…
~m
I came over from Deb’s blog. This is a great idea. Sometimes I feel so lost and alone and very overwhelmed, it’s a relief to connect to others who are going through or have gone through the same things. Thank you. I’d like to join too please.
Michael,
I also found you through The Yellow Wallpaper. I think this ring is a great idea, and would like to be included. Please let me know if I can do anything to help.
The neural network
With what appears to be my customary sense of self-importance I began this weblog last month thinking that it would be pretty unusual. I’d done a quick and, as it turns out, dirty search for personal journals of Alzheimer’s experiences and found noth…
My mother is 88 and has Dementia and has been on aricept for years. She lives by herself. She still can mircowave food and cook simple things like eggs etc. Just recently she has started to argue with the people in the mirror. She says they want her home and want to take it away from her.
When we go over, just about everyday, she shows us the people and tells us they are making her crazy.
She knows who we are but this is worrying us. She argues about going to a home and says over her dead body.
Is this early signs of alzheimers? She seems fine as long as she is sitting in front of her TV.
Nancy
Hey Nancy-
It does sound a bit ominous.
I replied to you personally…
~m