smoke and mirrors

I’ve told my wife.
I’ve told my friends.
I’ve even gone so far as to tell people that don’t even know me that under no uncertain terms should I be allowed to so much as breathe should I ever be caught wearing socks with sandals, especially black socks.
I’ve instructed my wife to go and get my grandfather’s rosewood
Billy club (he was a cop) and give me a few well placed whacks on the back of my head, if only to temporarily put me out of my misery and remove me from my obviously deteriorating state of mind.

When brain cells start flocking over to the uncool side, it’s time to pull the proverbial curtains. The BSWS, or “black socks with sandals” illness is just one sign.
Those big ass sunglasses that fit over your regular specs are another.
I’ve always wanted to ask these people if they’re planning on doing a little spot welding that day. They looked pretty cool on George Shearing.
Let’s just leave it at that.
I guess I never want someone to look at me and say, “Oh, man. Check it out. Black socks with sandals. What a freekin’ shame. He used to be so cool.”

Picture this: Moses (Charlton Heston) comes down from Mount Sinai holding the Ten Commandments and he’s wearing black knee high’s under his sandal straps.
Kinda loses a little bit of credibility with masses, huh?
He’d be forever known as Charlton “Uncool” Heston.
So, here’s the one commandment he forgot to mention:
Thou shalt not wear black socks with sandals.
I rest my case.

Amen.

~m