Friday
Occasionally, there are situations that make me do a 180o in terms of how I view my life and the changes that could possibly occur.
It started the other night when my wife scanned the caller ID box to see who had called during the day while she was at work.
“Lincoln OB-GYN called?”
She had gone for a routine mammogram last week and assumed everything was fine; no news is good news, right?
One of my daughters had taken the call and not told her about it.
Needless to say, my daughter immediately put two and two together and felt terrible.
I could almost see the inimical clouds of doubt float into my wife’s steam of consciousness.
Why did they call?
Is something wrong?
Did the mammogram find something?
An “Oh, my God” moment if ever there was one.
Complicating the matter was the fact that it was 7:30PM and the office was undoubtedly closed. Nothing left to do but wait until morning when the office opened.
I tried to be the voice of reason saying that had they needed to reach her, they would have.
I said, “They’re probably just calling about your next appointment,” trying to sound at least slightly convincing.
Circumstances like this always make me take a hard look at the “what ifs” of my life.My mind doesn’t like to go there but sometimes it has no choice.
The psychological preparation is merely a justification that I am human.
I can’t even begin to imagine my life without her.
And I simply refuse to go there.
I woke the next morning at 5:45AM, put on a pot of java, sat at the computer and clicked on Firefox. My wife came down twenty minutes later.
She hadn’t slept well.
I did and felt damn guilty.
We didn’t talk much because we were both thinking about the same thing.
Let’s fast forward to 9AM:
I got on the train to Boston with my cell phone in hand.
She called me at 9:08 and told me the call was to schedule her next appointment, as I had predicted. I had no inclination whatsoever to say “See, I told you.”
I was completely relieved.
I looked out the train window at the crystal clear blue sky.
The temperature was climbing towards 70 and in that significant microcosm of time, life was good.
To all the ladies reading this post; be vigilant and please get a yearly mammogram.
It is only early detection that saves lives.
I’ve added a link to my sidebar for the Breast Cancer Website.
If you click the link, you will have an opportunity to help someone get a mammogram that can’t afford it. It costs 10 seconds of your day. Yeah, it’s so worth it.
I click it every single day and so should you.
As my friend Carnealian says on her blog: Feel your boobies.
I am in 100% total agreement.
~m
Indeed, there are moments when something so simple as a caller ID can shake up deeply. Best wishes for many happy outcomes.
I’m still fighting WordPress at the new blog, but decided I needed to swing by blogroll buddies and say howdy!
Hope you have a terrific weekend – the weather in the KC area is spectacular!
Hugs,
Marti
Thanks, Marti.
Good luck with the WP war…
~m
Oh this must have been just awful for both of you…i’ve not been to have a mammogram yet – but I do self examinations on a regular basis. For me it’s the fear of cervical cancer that has made me do the ‘what if’s’ I had an irregular PS and all I could do was think about Zoe without a mum…made my heartbreak at just the thought of it..i’m so glad that it was what you thought it was. Stay healthy, both of you. Michael – i’m assuming you go get the guy tests then? No need to respond, just thought i’d mention it as women’s cancer is so ‘out there’ now, but not so much the male version!