For Sas (& Butterfly Kisses)

On Friday night, my oldest daughter graduates from High School. The seasonal ‘rite of passage’ promises to be emotional, bittersweet and ultimately gratifying as my wife and I watch the fruits of our collective blood, sweat and tears come to a rapid fruition.
It was only yesterday that I was teaching Sas how to ride a bike in the lush, emerald outfield of a deserted baseball field, the grass providing a natural cushion should she happen to fall. She would holler, “Let go, Daddy! Let go!” And in no time at all it seems that I did.
My wife and I have been blessed with a beautiful and intelligent child, now an incredibly complex young woman. Already accepted into a PreMed program at a very impressive local college, it’s her time to fly solo. Our job as parents has come to a brief end, a crossroad where we will get to witness just how well we’ve done; our semester is now over. Though she will remain forever in our hearts, she is not ours to keep. For all that she is and will hopefully become, keeping her would be an incredibly selfish thing for us to do. A part of me still wants to be selfish.
The world turns and waits for her, wondering if she will look back or go forward; again, a part of me wants her to look back. Friday night will be filled with endings and beginnings, smiles and tears, soaring souls and breaking hearts.
I believe I will kneel down before I go to bed Friday night and thank the good Lord for letting Sas grace our lives, teaching us just how deep love can grow. I will pray that He keeps her safe from harm and guides her to a destiny that is hers and hers alone. I will pray that she is eternally blessed with creativity (God’s personal gift), compassion and empathy for the new world and the people that will soon surround her. I will wish for her peace of mind, gladness of heart and wisdom far beyond her years. No matter what the future may hold, I will pray that she knows one small thing: as long as she graces the planet my hands will forever be holding onto, and balancing that little bicycle seat that carried her in that deserted baseball field just yesterday.

~I couldn't ask God for more
Man, this is what love is
I know I've gotta let her go, but I'll always remember
Every hug in the morning and butterfly kisses….. "Butterfly Kisses" by B. Carlisle

© michaelm 2005

4 thoughts on “For Sas (& Butterfly Kisses)

  1. Michael,

    Man, do I know the roller coster emotions you went thru (and are still probably going thru even tho graduation is over).

    But most of all, don’t you just feel this huge sensation of pride. I know I did, as each of our older children graduated.

    Btw, youngest daughter pulled straight A’s this semester of college. Talk about a good feeling.

    Bigg Huggs
    Kat

  2. Hey Kat-
    Sas graduated High Honors and received a nice scholarship (and yes, I am proud beyond belief)
    The sense that she is entering into another phase of her life negates any relief I may have initially felt. And the Life Roller coaster? Oh, yeah. I do think my stomach is done flipping for right now. Take care, kiddo.
    Thanks for stopping by.

    ~m

  3. …and another graduation has passed…another one to come.
    You have such a beautiful way of expressing your emotions.
    She is, to me, everything you wished her to be :happy:

    Can’t add more to your comment.
    Perfection.
    ~m

  4. Having now met the woman you write of, and seeing you with not only her but the others, let me say, this moved me more than I can tell you.
    I think the most relevant part of this post it that for as long as you live there will always be a hand to steady and balance should she need it.
    It’s just what parents do isn’t it?
    Love this post Michael.
    Like so many that come from the heart, it’s just so you, because that’s where your best comes from…

    You are awesome.
    Glad you liked this.
    I sometimes wonder if I an getting too lovey-dovey for blogging but I think,
    “Screw it. My blog. My way.”
    Thanks, M
    ~m

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